Memento Mori

Narrative fear.
A fever is dancing in stride – metronome memory.
Hypocrisy here is painting a portrait that's dripping with crass composition.
Fumbled trust, the father is dead, cathedrals are burning.
Lies fuel fires, fear burns red.
Now I'm cold, is this over?
Going inside of our, going inside of our heads.
When we whisper, "Danger, danger," pull the lever, turn the page
and I burn better in the morning.
Heartlessness narratives. Christ, where'd you go?
Impassioned, abandoned. Why, you were wrong.

This will die out.
Narrative fear.
A fever is dancing in stride – metronome memory.
Hypocrisy here is painting a portrait that's screaming, "The silence of dying."
Fumbled trust, the father is dead, cathedrals are burning.
Lies fuel fire, fear burns red.
Going inside of our, going inside of our heads.
When we whisper, "Danger, danger. Pull the lever,"
and I burn better in the morning.
Heartlessness narratives. Christ, where'd you go?
Impassioned, abandoned. Why, you were wrong.

Heartlessness narratives. Christ, where'd you go?
Impassioned, abandoned. Why, you were wrong.
We've forgotten how to read, we've forgotten how to believe.
The text has gone dark, the author recedes.
We've forgotten how to read, we've forgotten how to believe.
The text has gone dark, the author recedes.

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I'm having a hard time realizing how much time I have let pass me by. At this age, I should be getting a real job. Not my career job, but a firm stepping stone. Yet, where am I? At a job where everyone is fake. Pretending they care. Pretending that this makes them happy. Sure it's a nice place to work and there are cool clothes. But, at the end of the day, everything changes but you. Old clothes shift out, new one come in. It's hard not to imagine things when I'm working. I imagine the awesome clothes I have, and the awesome closet that stores them. I imagine the awesome apartment I live in, and the awesome job I have. But it all disappears when someone says, "Excuse me?"

On another note, it lets me know that I can't expect everything to be easy. I have to work towards what I want to be. As a kid, the one question that's not new to anyone is, "What do you want to be when you grow up?" Over the years, I've changed my mind tonnes of times (I'll let you in on a few: teacher, accountant, psychologist, personal trainer, interior designer, nutritionist, physiotherapist, accountant, etc...). But all we ever think about is the end result. I think over the years, that's the only thing I thought about. It's time to move along and focus on the process to get to that end result. I need focus, dedication, determination, and passion. I think I can do it. But, I say a lot of things. I honestly need to get a move on with my life. I'm 20. After next year, when school is done, where will I be? If I don't have that drive and passion now, I will probably end up jobless, homeless, and contemplating life. It's time to start my life. Now, or never.