I'm in the business of misery,
Let's take it from the top.
She's got a body like an hourglass, it's ticking like a clock.
It's a matter of time before we all run out,
When I thought he was mine she caught him by the mouth.
I waited eight long months,
She finally set him free.
I told him I couldn't lie he was the only one for me.
Two weeks and we've caught on fire,
She's got it out for me,
But I wear the biggest smile.
Whoa, I never meant to brag
But I got him where I want him now.
Whoa, it was never my intention to brag
To steal it all away from you now.
But God does it feel so good,
Cause I got him where I want him now.
And if you could then you know you would.
It's gonna just feel so...
It just feels so good.
Second chances they don't ever matter, people never change.
Once a whore you're nothing more, I'm sorry, that'll never change.
And about forgiveness, we're both supposed to have exchanged.
I'm sorry honey, but I passed it up, now look this way.
Well there's a million other girls who do it just like you.
Looking as innocent as possible to get to who,
They want and what they like it's easy if you do it right.
Well I refuse, I refuse, I refuse!
Whoa, I never meant to brag
But I got him where I want him now.
Whoa, it was never my intention to brag
To steal it all away from you now.
But God does it feel so good,
Cause I got him where I want him right now.
And if you could then you know you would.
It's gonna just feel so...
It just feels so good.
I watched his wildest dreams come true
And not one of them involving you
Just watch my wildest dreams come true
Not one of them involving...
Whoa, I never meant to brag
But I got him where I want him now.
Whoa, I never meant to brag
But I got him where I want him now.
Whoa, it was never my intention to brag
To steal it all away from you now.
But God does it feel so good,
Cause I got him where I want him now.
And if you could then you know you would.
It's gonna just feel so...
It just feels so good.
-----------------------------
I don't understand why people think I'm complicated. I'm really not. I don't understand why people think I sleep around, when clearly I don't. Really? Come on.
It's Saturday night and I'm home yet again. Not that I mind of course because I love being at home. But it's just that my life is pretty dull right now. Not having crazy nights. It's easy on my wallet, but hard on my state of being. Something like that. Just one super-fun night like every two weeks would be awesome.
Saturday, May 30, 2009
Tuesday, May 26, 2009
Wish You Were
Gone away are the golden days
Just a page in my diary
So here I am, a utopian citizen
Still convinced there's no such thing as idealism
Memories they're following me like a shadow now
And I'm dreaming
And I've already suffered the fever of disbelief
I've seen your act
And I know all the facts
I'm still in love with who I wish you were
It ain't hard to see
Who you are underneath
I'm still in love with who I wish you were
And I wish you were here
I was true as the sky is blue
I couldn't soon say the same for you
So now I find denial in my eyes
I'm mesmerized by the picture that's in my mind
Tell me when I'll finally see your shallow heart
For what it is
Cause I don't want to keep on believing in illusions
Sometimes I can't explain
And I'm so sorry that I can't
I'll try to concentrate
On your true identity
---------------------------------
Ok, it's almost the end of May and I haven't accomplished much at all. I finding myself spending entire days in bed if I'm not at work, just watching hours and hours of One Tree Hill. I'm gaining weight, feeling tired, and breaking out like mad. I shall go sign up for the gym tomorrow! If anything, the gym will be emptier than ever so I'm free to look more terrible. Time to get off my ass and accomplish shit in my life. Ta.
*Edit: Clearly, I can't afford the gym. So, I shall being my job hunt! =)
Just a page in my diary
So here I am, a utopian citizen
Still convinced there's no such thing as idealism
Memories they're following me like a shadow now
And I'm dreaming
And I've already suffered the fever of disbelief
I've seen your act
And I know all the facts
I'm still in love with who I wish you were
It ain't hard to see
Who you are underneath
I'm still in love with who I wish you were
And I wish you were here
I was true as the sky is blue
I couldn't soon say the same for you
So now I find denial in my eyes
I'm mesmerized by the picture that's in my mind
Tell me when I'll finally see your shallow heart
For what it is
Cause I don't want to keep on believing in illusions
Sometimes I can't explain
And I'm so sorry that I can't
I'll try to concentrate
On your true identity
---------------------------------
Ok, it's almost the end of May and I haven't accomplished much at all. I finding myself spending entire days in bed if I'm not at work, just watching hours and hours of One Tree Hill. I'm gaining weight, feeling tired, and breaking out like mad. I shall go sign up for the gym tomorrow! If anything, the gym will be emptier than ever so I'm free to look more terrible. Time to get off my ass and accomplish shit in my life. Ta.
*Edit: Clearly, I can't afford the gym. So, I shall being my job hunt! =)
Friday, May 22, 2009
Out Of Reach
Knew the signs
Wasn't right
I was stupid for a while
Swept away by you
And now I feel like a fool
So confused,
My heart's bruised
Was I ever loved by you?
Out of reach, so far
I never had your heart
Out of reach,
Couldn't see
We were never
Meant to be
Catch myself
From despair
I could drown
If I stay here
Keeping busy everyday
I know I will be OK
But I was
So confused,
My heart's bruised
Was I ever loved by you?
Out of reach, so far
I never had your heart
Out of reach,
Couldn't see
We were never
Meant to be
So much hurt,
So much pain
Takes a while
To regain
What is lost inside
And I hope that in time,
You'll be out of my mind
And I'll be over you
But now I'm
So confused,
My heart's bruised
Was I ever loved by you?
Out of reach,
So far
I never had your heart
Out of reach,
Couldn't see
We were never
Meant to be
Out of reach,
So far
You never gave your heart
In my reach, I can see
There's a life out there
For me
-------------------------
I wish I could believe you. But we both know that when you wake up, I mean nothing.
Wasn't right
I was stupid for a while
Swept away by you
And now I feel like a fool
So confused,
My heart's bruised
Was I ever loved by you?
Out of reach, so far
I never had your heart
Out of reach,
Couldn't see
We were never
Meant to be
Catch myself
From despair
I could drown
If I stay here
Keeping busy everyday
I know I will be OK
But I was
So confused,
My heart's bruised
Was I ever loved by you?
Out of reach, so far
I never had your heart
Out of reach,
Couldn't see
We were never
Meant to be
So much hurt,
So much pain
Takes a while
To regain
What is lost inside
And I hope that in time,
You'll be out of my mind
And I'll be over you
But now I'm
So confused,
My heart's bruised
Was I ever loved by you?
Out of reach,
So far
I never had your heart
Out of reach,
Couldn't see
We were never
Meant to be
Out of reach,
So far
You never gave your heart
In my reach, I can see
There's a life out there
For me
-------------------------
I wish I could believe you. But we both know that when you wake up, I mean nothing.
Thursday, May 21, 2009
I Will Remember You
Eight years later
Time goes by fast
Got my memories
And they will last
I try to keep it simple
'Cause I hate goodbyes
And I try to keep it simple
By telling myself that.
I... I will remember you
and all of the things
that we've gone through
There is so much I can say
The words get in the way
So were not together
I will remember you
I will remember… you
We’re a picture
In my mind
When I want to find you
I just close my eyes
You’ll never be that far from me
So don’t say goodbye 'cause
You’ll never be that far from me
I’m telling myself
I… I will remember you
And all of the things that we’ve gone through
There is so much I can say
The words get in the way
So were not together
I will remember… you
You were there when I needed a friend
Thank you thank you
I never told you how much that meant
Gotta thank you thank you
I… I will remember you
And all of the things that we’ve gone through
There is so much I can say
The words get in the way
So
I… I will remember you
And all of the things that we’ve gone through
There is so much I can say
The words get in the way
We’re not together
I will remember you
We’re not together
I will remember you
I will remember… you
--------------------------
Today, I went out with an old friend, former crush. After two years of not speaking to each other, it just seemed a bit random. Let me explain some back story...
We met in first year, during Frosh. Fun times, I say. We were on different teams, but somehow, people on my team knew people on other teams and we all just became friends. Anyways, on the final day of Frosh, we had a boat cruise, where all the leaders and first-year students just got to hang back and relax before school started. Anyways, this whole boat thing was kinda boring at first. I was 18, and not a drinker yet/couldn't buy alcohol. All the leaders and stuff were getting wasted pretty much. Anyways, this semi-drunk girl was totally into my friend (being all playful touchy feely) and he was playing along. He pretended to be drunk for her entertainment and when she wasn't looking, he would look my way and mouth, "I'm not drunk." From then on, whenever this other girl wasn't looking, we just talked about random things, and when she came over, he would tell her to get another drink and we would continue talking. It was kind of fun. Anyways, we chatted up the night and became friends afterwards. Sometime after, we began to hang out pretty often, seeing movies like every Wednesday at one point. By this time, I totally had a giant crush on this guy. Anyways, one day, we had a conversation about having crushes on each other at the beginning when we first met. We then planned our next hang-out. Anyways, the day comes. It was around Christmas and I had made plans to go to a Christmas dinner with some university friends and meet up with this guy after. During the dinner, he texts me that he couldn't make it and was sorry. I don't remember the reason, but I just brushed it off because we'd be hanging out so often. After a couple weeks, I find out that he is now in a relationship with some other girl and he disappears from all forms of social networking. He had let his girlfriend tell him to go offline of everything possible, Facebook, MSN, etc. From here on, I hadn't talked to this guy for about 2 years. I can't remember if I was angry at all, but I knew that couldn't let myself get caught up in this.
Now present day story, two years later...
Not too long ago, my friend reappears on Facebook, MSN, etc. We started talking to each other and he informs me that he and his girlfriend broke up. I understand that Facebook is trouble when it comes to girlfriends and relationships, but I would never tell another person that they had to pretty much drop off the face of the Earth and only spend time with me... that's crazy. Anyways, we started talking like we used to, and after my update on Facebook, he suggested that we see a sappy movie. I thought it was kind of random, but things are cool now, that it seemed not normal not to. Anyways, we saw "Ghosts of Girlfriend's Past". The movie was ok, but I enjoy these cheesy, predictable movies. After the movie, he suggested that we just sit at Dundas Square because the day was so nice and we didn't have anywhere to go afterwards. We spent the time there just catching up and talking about plans for summer. I again, have no plans. Haha. We talked about what happened the last time we went out. So we were trying to figure out what movie we watched last, pretty much what were the last things we told each other (He remembered that I was excited to see The Academy Is... and Cobra in Buffalo, long time eh?). Anyways, he ended up telling me that the reason he wanted to take me out for a movie is to apologize for how he left things. Not that we were in any sort of "relationship", but that we were close and he disappeared on me. He said that he kept replaying our last conversation and it didn't sit right with him all this time. All I could say was, "No worries", because it was so long ago that it doesn't even matter now since he's "alive" now. It was just very sweet that even though this happened two years ago, he still apologized for it. And he promised me that he wouldn't "die" again. So, hopefully, we'll somehow get as close as we once were.
Time goes by fast
Got my memories
And they will last
I try to keep it simple
'Cause I hate goodbyes
And I try to keep it simple
By telling myself that.
I... I will remember you
and all of the things
that we've gone through
There is so much I can say
The words get in the way
So were not together
I will remember you
I will remember… you
We’re a picture
In my mind
When I want to find you
I just close my eyes
You’ll never be that far from me
So don’t say goodbye 'cause
You’ll never be that far from me
I’m telling myself
I… I will remember you
And all of the things that we’ve gone through
There is so much I can say
The words get in the way
So were not together
I will remember… you
You were there when I needed a friend
Thank you thank you
I never told you how much that meant
Gotta thank you thank you
I… I will remember you
And all of the things that we’ve gone through
There is so much I can say
The words get in the way
So
I… I will remember you
And all of the things that we’ve gone through
There is so much I can say
The words get in the way
We’re not together
I will remember you
We’re not together
I will remember you
I will remember… you
--------------------------
Today, I went out with an old friend, former crush. After two years of not speaking to each other, it just seemed a bit random. Let me explain some back story...
We met in first year, during Frosh. Fun times, I say. We were on different teams, but somehow, people on my team knew people on other teams and we all just became friends. Anyways, on the final day of Frosh, we had a boat cruise, where all the leaders and first-year students just got to hang back and relax before school started. Anyways, this whole boat thing was kinda boring at first. I was 18, and not a drinker yet/couldn't buy alcohol. All the leaders and stuff were getting wasted pretty much. Anyways, this semi-drunk girl was totally into my friend (being all playful touchy feely) and he was playing along. He pretended to be drunk for her entertainment and when she wasn't looking, he would look my way and mouth, "I'm not drunk." From then on, whenever this other girl wasn't looking, we just talked about random things, and when she came over, he would tell her to get another drink and we would continue talking. It was kind of fun. Anyways, we chatted up the night and became friends afterwards. Sometime after, we began to hang out pretty often, seeing movies like every Wednesday at one point. By this time, I totally had a giant crush on this guy. Anyways, one day, we had a conversation about having crushes on each other at the beginning when we first met. We then planned our next hang-out. Anyways, the day comes. It was around Christmas and I had made plans to go to a Christmas dinner with some university friends and meet up with this guy after. During the dinner, he texts me that he couldn't make it and was sorry. I don't remember the reason, but I just brushed it off because we'd be hanging out so often. After a couple weeks, I find out that he is now in a relationship with some other girl and he disappears from all forms of social networking. He had let his girlfriend tell him to go offline of everything possible, Facebook, MSN, etc. From here on, I hadn't talked to this guy for about 2 years. I can't remember if I was angry at all, but I knew that couldn't let myself get caught up in this.
Now present day story, two years later...
Not too long ago, my friend reappears on Facebook, MSN, etc. We started talking to each other and he informs me that he and his girlfriend broke up. I understand that Facebook is trouble when it comes to girlfriends and relationships, but I would never tell another person that they had to pretty much drop off the face of the Earth and only spend time with me... that's crazy. Anyways, we started talking like we used to, and after my update on Facebook, he suggested that we see a sappy movie. I thought it was kind of random, but things are cool now, that it seemed not normal not to. Anyways, we saw "Ghosts of Girlfriend's Past". The movie was ok, but I enjoy these cheesy, predictable movies. After the movie, he suggested that we just sit at Dundas Square because the day was so nice and we didn't have anywhere to go afterwards. We spent the time there just catching up and talking about plans for summer. I again, have no plans. Haha. We talked about what happened the last time we went out. So we were trying to figure out what movie we watched last, pretty much what were the last things we told each other (He remembered that I was excited to see The Academy Is... and Cobra in Buffalo, long time eh?). Anyways, he ended up telling me that the reason he wanted to take me out for a movie is to apologize for how he left things. Not that we were in any sort of "relationship", but that we were close and he disappeared on me. He said that he kept replaying our last conversation and it didn't sit right with him all this time. All I could say was, "No worries", because it was so long ago that it doesn't even matter now since he's "alive" now. It was just very sweet that even though this happened two years ago, he still apologized for it. And he promised me that he wouldn't "die" again. So, hopefully, we'll somehow get as close as we once were.
Tuesday, May 19, 2009
Sidewalks
The bridge is all crumbled.
The water soaks into rocks
that fell at the bottom of the road (At the end of the town)
The town that we lived in.
The memories shaken apart from the weeds that grow
Over the sidewalks,
Running away from the streets we knew,
Sidewalks,
Like the time we thought was made for you.
Oh...
Out on the front porch,
watching the cars as they go by
(Eighteen blue, twenty one grey)
Looking ahead for the first time that we could drive,
Out on our own,
To speed away
From the sidewalks,
Running away from the streets we knew,
Sidewalks,
Like the time we thought was made for you.
Oh...
All of the days have passed us by,
All of the sun is gone... away.
Sidewalks,
Running away from the streets we knew,
Sidewalks,
Running away from the streets we knew,
Sidewalks,
Like the time we thought was made for you.
(Sidewalks)
The bridges are crumpled,
The water soaks into rocks,
(Sidewalks)
That fell at the bottom of the road.
-----------------------------
I just want to say thanks for everyone who was able to celebrate my birthday over the weekend. It wouldn't have been the same without you. I'm so lucky to have you in my life.
-----------------------------
Today is my birthday. With the festivities over with as they were on the weekend, today was just an ordinary day. But today brought a giant smile to my face. It wasn't because I was one year older, or expected any gifts today. It was just hanging out with someone I wanted to get to know better (but I think I might have a serious crush... shh). In any case, we ended up having lunch at the Pickle Barrel, just sitting in Dundas Square talking about how lame we were as children, movies, and how much I never get out. I have a list of bars/lounges with incredible music that I just have to hit up (Hint hint, Jenicka... jk only if you want). After, we ended up just going through the Eaton Center in search of jeans he can "rock in" for his upcoming show. It was kind of funny because he kept saying that didn't want to resort to girl jeans at all. And, it was cute how he kept asking what I thought about it. But we found success at Le Chateau of all places. As we were parting ways, he hugged me and it felt really good. Anyways, in either case, if its just a new friend, or something more, it made me smile because I hadn't gotten to know anyone new in such a long time. It was probably one of my best non-dates ever.
The water soaks into rocks
that fell at the bottom of the road (At the end of the town)
The town that we lived in.
The memories shaken apart from the weeds that grow
Over the sidewalks,
Running away from the streets we knew,
Sidewalks,
Like the time we thought was made for you.
Oh...
Out on the front porch,
watching the cars as they go by
(Eighteen blue, twenty one grey)
Looking ahead for the first time that we could drive,
Out on our own,
To speed away
From the sidewalks,
Running away from the streets we knew,
Sidewalks,
Like the time we thought was made for you.
Oh...
All of the days have passed us by,
All of the sun is gone... away.
Sidewalks,
Running away from the streets we knew,
Sidewalks,
Running away from the streets we knew,
Sidewalks,
Like the time we thought was made for you.
(Sidewalks)
The bridges are crumpled,
The water soaks into rocks,
(Sidewalks)
That fell at the bottom of the road.
-----------------------------
I just want to say thanks for everyone who was able to celebrate my birthday over the weekend. It wouldn't have been the same without you. I'm so lucky to have you in my life.
-----------------------------
Today is my birthday. With the festivities over with as they were on the weekend, today was just an ordinary day. But today brought a giant smile to my face. It wasn't because I was one year older, or expected any gifts today. It was just hanging out with someone I wanted to get to know better (but I think I might have a serious crush... shh). In any case, we ended up having lunch at the Pickle Barrel, just sitting in Dundas Square talking about how lame we were as children, movies, and how much I never get out. I have a list of bars/lounges with incredible music that I just have to hit up (Hint hint, Jenicka... jk only if you want). After, we ended up just going through the Eaton Center in search of jeans he can "rock in" for his upcoming show. It was kind of funny because he kept saying that didn't want to resort to girl jeans at all. And, it was cute how he kept asking what I thought about it. But we found success at Le Chateau of all places. As we were parting ways, he hugged me and it felt really good. Anyways, in either case, if its just a new friend, or something more, it made me smile because I hadn't gotten to know anyone new in such a long time. It was probably one of my best non-dates ever.
Saturday, May 16, 2009
The Perfect Scene
Well it's on my mind,
I'm heading back in time
and when I think of all the
songs we used to play and then
I think of you and it's alright.
I think of you and it's alright.
Well it's this sort of thing that
gets me to lose my mind
and it's the flash, flashy eyes that
make it worthwhile.
Everytime when we, we get together
we just fall in love again.
All in all, it's the perfect scene
and there's not anywhere that
I would rather be and it's now,
now or never when we're chasing
our dreams.
And oh, we're getting close now don't turn away.
It's on my mind I've got, I've got it all
and I wanted you to come inside.
It only takes just a second
when you understand you're out of time.
It only takes just a second
when you understand you're out of time.
All in all, it's the perfect scene
and there's not anywhere that
I would rather be and it's now,
now or never when we're chasing
our dreams.
And oh, We're getting close now don't turn away.
Don't turn away!
Oh you know, it's the perfect scene
and it's not anywhere I'd rather be.
Oh, where getting close now don't turn away.
------------------------------
Going to the grocery store soontimes. It's gunna be fun buy random stuff to eat. One day, folks.
On another note, it's surprising how *little* effort it takes just to like someone. You know, you get that feeling that you should know this boy better, and that you enjoy just talking to him. One moment, you can feel nothing, the next, just what they said fills you with anticipation for the next time you meet/speak. That's all I have to say.
I think of you and it's alright.
I'm heading back in time
and when I think of all the
songs we used to play and then
I think of you and it's alright.
I think of you and it's alright.
Well it's this sort of thing that
gets me to lose my mind
and it's the flash, flashy eyes that
make it worthwhile.
Everytime when we, we get together
we just fall in love again.
All in all, it's the perfect scene
and there's not anywhere that
I would rather be and it's now,
now or never when we're chasing
our dreams.
And oh, we're getting close now don't turn away.
It's on my mind I've got, I've got it all
and I wanted you to come inside.
It only takes just a second
when you understand you're out of time.
It only takes just a second
when you understand you're out of time.
All in all, it's the perfect scene
and there's not anywhere that
I would rather be and it's now,
now or never when we're chasing
our dreams.
And oh, We're getting close now don't turn away.
Don't turn away!
Oh you know, it's the perfect scene
and it's not anywhere I'd rather be.
Oh, where getting close now don't turn away.
------------------------------
Going to the grocery store soontimes. It's gunna be fun buy random stuff to eat. One day, folks.
On another note, it's surprising how *little* effort it takes just to like someone. You know, you get that feeling that you should know this boy better, and that you enjoy just talking to him. One moment, you can feel nothing, the next, just what they said fills you with anticipation for the next time you meet/speak. That's all I have to say.
I think of you and it's alright.
Thursday, May 14, 2009
Love Addict
Hold up, wait a minute, put a little love in it
Doctor, Doctor, I've got an emergency
It seems I'm head over heels, a case of L-O-V-E
It's like I'm glowing inside
Yeah, a light I can't hide
And if this feeling is bad then I don't wanna be right
What I've got in my soul gives me the highest delight
Oh yeah it's better than drugs
In fact it's sent from above, huh huh
Hold up, wait a minute, put a little love in it
Hey, Can't kick the habit
Yeah, I got to have it
Yeah, I 'm what they call a
Love addict, Love addict
Hey, can't live without it
Yeah, G'on shout about it
Hey, I'm a symptomatic
Love addict, Love addict
Need a refill cause I just can't get enough
I've got a fever, oh yeah, and the prescription's love
So lay the truth on me
Cause that is all that I need
Hold up, wait a minute, put a little love in it
Hey, Can't kick the habit
Yeah, I got to have it
Yeah, I 'm what they call a
Love addict, Love addict
Hey, can't live without it
Yeah, G'on shout about it
Hey, I'm a symptomatic
Love addict, Love addict
I'm blessed, I must confess
My heart is pounding in my chest
Cause this love's the best
I'm just a love addict
Coming down with something outrageous
Lookout now cause it so contagious
This feeling's got me reeling
So amped up that I hit the ceiling
Gotta clear my throat
Huh huh, now I gotta have some more
Hold up, wait a minute, put a little love in it
-----------------------------
Yesterday, my neighbour's van caught fire, leaving a small section of my lawn and the tree above toasted to a crisp. It all started with my mom coming downstairs because she smelled something burning. Trying to see where it was coming from, my mom goes outside to see my neighbour's van burning. Like actual high flames! Anyways, during all this, my neighbour's daughter starts yelling ''Dad, your van is on fire!!!" Then my neighbour is screaming, "CALL 911". My mom then goes to move the car as far away from the house, and starts to come back. I'm at the front window, seeing my mom coming. I could feel the heat from inside my house! Then, run to the back door to unlock it for my mom. She tells me to put on shoes and lock the front door, and lets me know that we were leaving the house. We're on our way to the car which is parked about 50 meters from the house, and the van "pops". Not like an explosion, but something inside the van probably did. So, me and my mom are running to the car, kinda in shock as to what happened. We pulled the car onto another nearby street to see what was happening. Luckily, the fire department came under three minutes. Three firetrucks, three police cars, and one ambulance came. A lot of people came out of their houses to see what was going on because all you could see was heavy black smoke quickly rising into the air. After their arrival, the firemen started hosing off the van probably within two minutes. Seeing that things were under control, my mom and I weren't allowed to go back to our house because the police blocked off the road. So, this is when my mom and I decided to go on a shopping trip/I had to pee somwhere xD. AHAHA. Anyways, we ended up going to Shoppers, then to Winners. This is where I got my Steve Madden "Madden Girl" shoes. Pretty sexy, I must say. After about 40 minutes of shopping, we headed back home, hoping that everything was cleared and we would have access to our home. When we got back, all is well. Just kinda black.
During this entire thing, I was praying that our house wouldn't catch fire because the van was extremely close the lawn and our house. Adding to that, the wind was blowing the flames towards our house! When we got back, my mom saw the van on CP24! Crazy.
----------------------------
On another note, I'm currently counting down the days to my birthday. Not that I'm not a bit psyched, I just want to get it over with. Sunday will be my little get-together though. There's actually a lot to do. I hate hosting parties. For one, you can't get as drunk as everyone else aka have as much fun. Two, if anything, my things will get damaged if anything would to occur. Three, I'm the only one who has to worry. Fuck. Not to add to that, my sister is on a mission to watch my every move. She has the entire weekend off. FML seriously. Anyways, I just want to have a good time. It's my birthday after all and I don't want to cry. Fuck, I wanna get seriously drunk, but I can't. I hate not being to do things I want.
Saturday will be a day of preparations. I got to get my patio furniture actually out to the patio. Dig out some coolers, and finish cleaning up everything else. Then, I have to do a lot of grocery shopping.
Ahhh. Fuck.
Doctor, Doctor, I've got an emergency
It seems I'm head over heels, a case of L-O-V-E
It's like I'm glowing inside
Yeah, a light I can't hide
And if this feeling is bad then I don't wanna be right
What I've got in my soul gives me the highest delight
Oh yeah it's better than drugs
In fact it's sent from above, huh huh
Hold up, wait a minute, put a little love in it
Hey, Can't kick the habit
Yeah, I got to have it
Yeah, I 'm what they call a
Love addict, Love addict
Hey, can't live without it
Yeah, G'on shout about it
Hey, I'm a symptomatic
Love addict, Love addict
Need a refill cause I just can't get enough
I've got a fever, oh yeah, and the prescription's love
So lay the truth on me
Cause that is all that I need
Hold up, wait a minute, put a little love in it
Hey, Can't kick the habit
Yeah, I got to have it
Yeah, I 'm what they call a
Love addict, Love addict
Hey, can't live without it
Yeah, G'on shout about it
Hey, I'm a symptomatic
Love addict, Love addict
I'm blessed, I must confess
My heart is pounding in my chest
Cause this love's the best
I'm just a love addict
Coming down with something outrageous
Lookout now cause it so contagious
This feeling's got me reeling
So amped up that I hit the ceiling
Gotta clear my throat
Huh huh, now I gotta have some more
Hold up, wait a minute, put a little love in it
-----------------------------
Yesterday, my neighbour's van caught fire, leaving a small section of my lawn and the tree above toasted to a crisp. It all started with my mom coming downstairs because she smelled something burning. Trying to see where it was coming from, my mom goes outside to see my neighbour's van burning. Like actual high flames! Anyways, during all this, my neighbour's daughter starts yelling ''Dad, your van is on fire!!!" Then my neighbour is screaming, "CALL 911". My mom then goes to move the car as far away from the house, and starts to come back. I'm at the front window, seeing my mom coming. I could feel the heat from inside my house! Then, run to the back door to unlock it for my mom. She tells me to put on shoes and lock the front door, and lets me know that we were leaving the house. We're on our way to the car which is parked about 50 meters from the house, and the van "pops". Not like an explosion, but something inside the van probably did. So, me and my mom are running to the car, kinda in shock as to what happened. We pulled the car onto another nearby street to see what was happening. Luckily, the fire department came under three minutes. Three firetrucks, three police cars, and one ambulance came. A lot of people came out of their houses to see what was going on because all you could see was heavy black smoke quickly rising into the air. After their arrival, the firemen started hosing off the van probably within two minutes. Seeing that things were under control, my mom and I weren't allowed to go back to our house because the police blocked off the road. So, this is when my mom and I decided to go on a shopping trip/I had to pee somwhere xD. AHAHA. Anyways, we ended up going to Shoppers, then to Winners. This is where I got my Steve Madden "Madden Girl" shoes. Pretty sexy, I must say. After about 40 minutes of shopping, we headed back home, hoping that everything was cleared and we would have access to our home. When we got back, all is well. Just kinda black.
During this entire thing, I was praying that our house wouldn't catch fire because the van was extremely close the lawn and our house. Adding to that, the wind was blowing the flames towards our house! When we got back, my mom saw the van on CP24! Crazy.
----------------------------
On another note, I'm currently counting down the days to my birthday. Not that I'm not a bit psyched, I just want to get it over with. Sunday will be my little get-together though. There's actually a lot to do. I hate hosting parties. For one, you can't get as drunk as everyone else aka have as much fun. Two, if anything, my things will get damaged if anything would to occur. Three, I'm the only one who has to worry. Fuck. Not to add to that, my sister is on a mission to watch my every move. She has the entire weekend off. FML seriously. Anyways, I just want to have a good time. It's my birthday after all and I don't want to cry. Fuck, I wanna get seriously drunk, but I can't. I hate not being to do things I want.
Saturday will be a day of preparations. I got to get my patio furniture actually out to the patio. Dig out some coolers, and finish cleaning up everything else. Then, I have to do a lot of grocery shopping.
Ahhh. Fuck.
Wednesday, May 13, 2009
Better Be Prepared
I'm making my way
Through cities and towns
Just trying to lose myself in skylines and forget
That I lost my mind when I couldn't hold her
And now that I feel all the weight on my shoulders
I fall
So here's a couple words for you
To let you know what I've been through
I've got this off-track set mind where everything is fine
If I know I've got a ticket to the other side
And I'll breathe you in tonight
I'll find my own way home
You know I'll be fine
You've got me walking through the back door, back door
Hoping that I'll find you sitting there
You know that I will find you somehow
And I better be well prepared
To change the way that I believe
This story's old but not complete
I need that off-track set mind where everything is fine
If I'm ever gonna meet you on the other side
And I'll breathe you in tonight
I'll find my own way home
You know I'll be fine
You've got me walking through the back door, back door
Hoping that I'll find you sitting there
You know that I will find you somehow
And I better be well prepared
To walk through the back door, back door
With my head in my hands
'Cause I can find you somehow
I better be well prepared
I'm gonna be prepared
I need to get out of the city lights
And make my way to the country side
I'll drive down the road
The roads we both know
Will lead me to the place I miss the most
I'll get to your house
I'll burst through the door
I'll climb up the stairs
You know I'm scared that I have changed
You've got me walking through the back door, back door
Hoping that I'll find you sitting there
You know that I will find you somehow
And I better be well prepared
To walk through the back door, back door
With my head in my hands
'Cause I can find you somehow
I better be well prepared
I'm gonna be prepared
------------------------------
After trying to sleep, I couldn't. This is what I get for watching One Tree Hill all night to the wee hours yesterday. Seriously, one day and my sleep is messed. Anyways, not much has gone on with my life. I guess I'm trying to live vicariously through television characters to compensate for my dull life. Well, I should really take more initiative to get out there, but I can put that off for now. I'm looking forward to the weekend. Friday at 9:45pm can't get here fast enough. I really hope things turn out this weekend. I plan on having a small get-together this weekend for my birthday. But family things always get in the way. I just want one, single day where there's nothing to worry about, no one telling me what to do. One day to have fun before I am more obligated to act like a mature adult, before I turn 21. I kinda wanna get really wasted. Not puking wasted, but responsible yet enough to drown my sorrows of my upcoming birthday.
One thing I don't get is how my parents want me to act all responsible, right now. Saying that I'm too old to have parties, to go out. But that is just the thing. I have my entire lifetime to act like a mature adult. I'm still young. Why do I need to get a head start? Is it only when I have a stable job, a mortgage, can I start to have fun and feel free? Doesn't make sense does it?
Things I want from this weekend:
- chilling with friends
- good laughs
- my sister to get a life for just 24 hours
- my mom to not interfere
- to forget about what would've happened.
I need to stop replaying one liners over and over in my mind. Why did you have to say that?
Through cities and towns
Just trying to lose myself in skylines and forget
That I lost my mind when I couldn't hold her
And now that I feel all the weight on my shoulders
I fall
So here's a couple words for you
To let you know what I've been through
I've got this off-track set mind where everything is fine
If I know I've got a ticket to the other side
And I'll breathe you in tonight
I'll find my own way home
You know I'll be fine
You've got me walking through the back door, back door
Hoping that I'll find you sitting there
You know that I will find you somehow
And I better be well prepared
To change the way that I believe
This story's old but not complete
I need that off-track set mind where everything is fine
If I'm ever gonna meet you on the other side
And I'll breathe you in tonight
I'll find my own way home
You know I'll be fine
You've got me walking through the back door, back door
Hoping that I'll find you sitting there
You know that I will find you somehow
And I better be well prepared
To walk through the back door, back door
With my head in my hands
'Cause I can find you somehow
I better be well prepared
I'm gonna be prepared
I need to get out of the city lights
And make my way to the country side
I'll drive down the road
The roads we both know
Will lead me to the place I miss the most
I'll get to your house
I'll burst through the door
I'll climb up the stairs
You know I'm scared that I have changed
You've got me walking through the back door, back door
Hoping that I'll find you sitting there
You know that I will find you somehow
And I better be well prepared
To walk through the back door, back door
With my head in my hands
'Cause I can find you somehow
I better be well prepared
I'm gonna be prepared
------------------------------
After trying to sleep, I couldn't. This is what I get for watching One Tree Hill all night to the wee hours yesterday. Seriously, one day and my sleep is messed. Anyways, not much has gone on with my life. I guess I'm trying to live vicariously through television characters to compensate for my dull life. Well, I should really take more initiative to get out there, but I can put that off for now. I'm looking forward to the weekend. Friday at 9:45pm can't get here fast enough. I really hope things turn out this weekend. I plan on having a small get-together this weekend for my birthday. But family things always get in the way. I just want one, single day where there's nothing to worry about, no one telling me what to do. One day to have fun before I am more obligated to act like a mature adult, before I turn 21. I kinda wanna get really wasted. Not puking wasted, but responsible yet enough to drown my sorrows of my upcoming birthday.
One thing I don't get is how my parents want me to act all responsible, right now. Saying that I'm too old to have parties, to go out. But that is just the thing. I have my entire lifetime to act like a mature adult. I'm still young. Why do I need to get a head start? Is it only when I have a stable job, a mortgage, can I start to have fun and feel free? Doesn't make sense does it?
Things I want from this weekend:
- chilling with friends
- good laughs
- my sister to get a life for just 24 hours
- my mom to not interfere
- to forget about what would've happened.
I need to stop replaying one liners over and over in my mind. Why did you have to say that?
Saturday, May 9, 2009
Holiday
So let me first start off by saying
How hard I've been working towards this goal
That was set in stone
Behind my eyelids from hours of countless dreaming
And second, let me tell you about this feeling I can't describe
'Cause as I try to get this all out
I know that I'm not better off at all
'Cause this town's never seemed so cold
Then, when I'm home for the week on a holiday
I look around, everything has changed
Life's not the same since you've gone away
Since you've gone away
I've come to this conclusion,
That I was foolish when I thought
That if I just put my trust in coming home,
That I'd be better off
All that just got me thinking about that feeling I can't describe
And as I try to get this all out
I realize I'm not better off at all
When I'm home for the week on a holiday
I look around, everything has changed
Life's not the same since you've gone away
Since you've gone away
I've been home for the week on a holiday
I look around, everything has changed
Life's not the same since you've gone away
Since you've gone away
We all need a reason to believe
We all need a reason
We all need a reason to believe
We all need a reason
(When I'm home for the week on a holiday
Look around, everything has changed
Life's not the same since you've gone away
'Cause you've gone away)
Home for the week on a holiday
Look around, everything has changed
Life's not the same since you've gone away
Since you've gone away
(We all need a reason to believe
We all need a reason
We all need a reason to believe
We all need a reason)
At the end of the day
We always need a reason to believe
She said, "Love can take you anywhere you want"
--------------------------------
My life is boring right now. On another note, this is incredible.
How hard I've been working towards this goal
That was set in stone
Behind my eyelids from hours of countless dreaming
And second, let me tell you about this feeling I can't describe
'Cause as I try to get this all out
I know that I'm not better off at all
'Cause this town's never seemed so cold
Then, when I'm home for the week on a holiday
I look around, everything has changed
Life's not the same since you've gone away
Since you've gone away
I've come to this conclusion,
That I was foolish when I thought
That if I just put my trust in coming home,
That I'd be better off
All that just got me thinking about that feeling I can't describe
And as I try to get this all out
I realize I'm not better off at all
When I'm home for the week on a holiday
I look around, everything has changed
Life's not the same since you've gone away
Since you've gone away
I've been home for the week on a holiday
I look around, everything has changed
Life's not the same since you've gone away
Since you've gone away
We all need a reason to believe
We all need a reason
We all need a reason to believe
We all need a reason
(When I'm home for the week on a holiday
Look around, everything has changed
Life's not the same since you've gone away
'Cause you've gone away)
Home for the week on a holiday
Look around, everything has changed
Life's not the same since you've gone away
Since you've gone away
(We all need a reason to believe
We all need a reason
We all need a reason to believe
We all need a reason)
At the end of the day
We always need a reason to believe
She said, "Love can take you anywhere you want"
--------------------------------
My life is boring right now. On another note, this is incredible.
Wednesday, May 6, 2009
Get Your Back Off The Wall
This revolution
Starts when you're movin'
Don't wanna step to me
Unless you plan on losin'
Not here to brag
Not here for thrills
I'm here to battle, baby
I dance to kill
Fall in
Shakin' like a leaf
Bucklin' at the knees
Stop draggin' your feet
Time to go all in
Time for standing tall
Move to kill 'em all
No win lose or draw
Get your back off the wall
[Chorus:]
Get your back off the wall, get your back off the wall
Get your get your get your back, get your back off the wall
We dig them trenches
So they be trippin'
I'm on the front lines
Yeah I see them flinchin'
Annihilation
Of the enemy
Wrath pours down
When I move my feet
Fall in
All my new recruits
Now you're in my troop
Shake 'em in their boots
Time to go all in
They can scratch and claw
We ain't backin' off
Time to lay down the law
Get your back off the wall
--------------------------
After months and months of waiting, the weekend of my summer happened: Bamboozle. Already psyched to see some of my favourite bands, I was also introduced to new music that I couldn't wait to hear again when I got home. During this music festival, I was able to see: The Cab, Cartel, We The Kings, Cobra Starship, Fall Out Boy, Family Force 5, Billy Talent, The Sounds, Sum41, Every Avenue, Valencia, Rise Against, and finally No Doubt. I'm probably forgetting some others in there as well. All the bands were amazing and performed really well. I was mostly surprised by how amazing Valencia was. I had never seen them before live and it was probably just a combination of it being a first for me, the songs they played, and how fun they made it with confetti. Somewhere during the events, we saw TONY! Got pics with him of course. It was definitely a fun touch. We also saw the Butcher and met Jack there as well. Somehow, The Academy Is... always makes it into our lives. After the two days, it was finally time to see No Doubt. Jenicka and I had a master plan to get into the crowd during Rise Against (who were playing right before No Doubt), to have good spots for No Doubt. After waiting for about 40 mins after Rise Against was over, No Doubt finally comes out. I have to say that Gwen Stefani is absolutely breathtaking in real life. She's just incredibly perfect. My god, I want to be her. No Doubt had an amazing set. During 'Running', I actually cried for the first time at a concert. It was a song that just means so much. I have to say, that it was an incredible band to end off an incredible weekend that will never be forgotten.
Starts when you're movin'
Don't wanna step to me
Unless you plan on losin'
Not here to brag
Not here for thrills
I'm here to battle, baby
I dance to kill
Fall in
Shakin' like a leaf
Bucklin' at the knees
Stop draggin' your feet
Time to go all in
Time for standing tall
Move to kill 'em all
No win lose or draw
Get your back off the wall
[Chorus:]
Get your back off the wall, get your back off the wall
Get your get your get your back, get your back off the wall
We dig them trenches
So they be trippin'
I'm on the front lines
Yeah I see them flinchin'
Annihilation
Of the enemy
Wrath pours down
When I move my feet
Fall in
All my new recruits
Now you're in my troop
Shake 'em in their boots
Time to go all in
They can scratch and claw
We ain't backin' off
Time to lay down the law
Get your back off the wall
--------------------------
After months and months of waiting, the weekend of my summer happened: Bamboozle. Already psyched to see some of my favourite bands, I was also introduced to new music that I couldn't wait to hear again when I got home. During this music festival, I was able to see: The Cab, Cartel, We The Kings, Cobra Starship, Fall Out Boy, Family Force 5, Billy Talent, The Sounds, Sum41, Every Avenue, Valencia, Rise Against, and finally No Doubt. I'm probably forgetting some others in there as well. All the bands were amazing and performed really well. I was mostly surprised by how amazing Valencia was. I had never seen them before live and it was probably just a combination of it being a first for me, the songs they played, and how fun they made it with confetti. Somewhere during the events, we saw TONY! Got pics with him of course. It was definitely a fun touch. We also saw the Butcher and met Jack there as well. Somehow, The Academy Is... always makes it into our lives. After the two days, it was finally time to see No Doubt. Jenicka and I had a master plan to get into the crowd during Rise Against (who were playing right before No Doubt), to have good spots for No Doubt. After waiting for about 40 mins after Rise Against was over, No Doubt finally comes out. I have to say that Gwen Stefani is absolutely breathtaking in real life. She's just incredibly perfect. My god, I want to be her. No Doubt had an amazing set. During 'Running', I actually cried for the first time at a concert. It was a song that just means so much. I have to say, that it was an incredible band to end off an incredible weekend that will never be forgotten.
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