The best thing about tonight's that we're not fighting
Could it be that we have been this way before
I know you don't think that I am trying
I know you're wearing thin down to the core
But hold your breathe
Because tonight will be the night that I will fall for you
Over again
Don't make me change my mind
Or I wont live to see another day
I swear it's true
Because a girl like you is impossible to find
Your impossible to find
This is not what I intended
I always swore to you i'd never fall apart
You always thought that I was stronger
I may of failed
But I have loved you from the start
Ohhhh
But hold your breathe
Because tonight will be the night that I will fall for you
Over again
Don't make me change my mind
Or I wont live to see another day
I swear it's true
Because a girl like you is impossible to find
It's impossible
So breathe in so deep
Breathe me in
I'm yours to keep
And hold onto your words
Cuz talk is cheap
And remember me tonight
When your asleep
Because tonight will be the night that I will fall for you
Over again
Don't make me change my mind
Or I wont live to see another day
I swear it's true
Because a girl like you is impossible to find
Tonight will be the night that I will fall for you
Over again
Don't make me change my mind
Or I wont live to see another day
I swear it's true
Because a girl like you is impossible to find
You're impossible to find
-------------------------------------
This is my new song. Take a listen.
The last three days have been hectic. Busy shoppers = Crazy Anita. Well, not really. I just wanted to shoot myself afterward, figuratively of course. But the next four days I have off work, which is awesome downtime for me. All I really wanna do is just curl up and read a book or watch a movie. The latter will most likely happen. I've discovered that DVDs are the perfect gift for me when I take interest in the subject. So no documentaries or "Pride and Prejudice". Oh god. I spent 2 hours of my life watching that on TV yesterday... I read the book too... just as unentertaining. Now I wait for "Pineapple Express" to come to DVD on January 6th. Draw a pineapple in your calendars!
Sunday, December 28, 2008
Wednesday, December 24, 2008
Winter Passing
It's winter again.
A white-washed and frozen...sky.
I came to the door,
Eyes maladjusted...from the light,
But your voice rang clear.
You said, "For all I thought I'd ever need,
It's hard to face the holidays without."
Well I've left my last message on your machine.
It's hard to face the holidays
When you're looking for the words to say.
When you're looking for the words to say.
So you've found a friend,
To spend all your cold nights with him,
But if I was there
Then I'd wonder why,
You still wear my jacket
Closed with traces of my scent.
And I said, "For all I thought I'd ever need,
It's hard to face the holidays without."
Well I've left my last message in your machine.
It's hard to face the holidays,
When you're looking for the words to say.
So stay with me here.
Nose to nose,
Cold enough to see as our breath
Slowly escapes and exchanges...
From my lungs to yours,
From your mouth to mine.
For all I thought I'd ever need,
It's hard to face the holidays without.
Well I've left my last message on your machine.
It's hard to face the holidays
When you're looking for the words to say
(stay with me here
Nose to nose,
Cold enough to see as our breath)
When you're looking for the words to say.
When you're looking for the words to say.
(stay with me here
Nose to nose,
Cold enough to see as our breath)
When you're looking for the words to say.
When you're looking for the words to say.
------------------------------------------
It's Christmas Eve. For the past few weeks I have never been in much of a holiday mood. But what got me through exams was thinking about the holidays. Once that had passed, I was stressed out about work, finding out grades, other extracurricular things that the holiday spirit within me broke. I couldn't have cared less and by the time December 23rd came along, "Oh, Christmas is in two days...". But today changed everything.
Although it was indeed Christmas eve, I was able to spend it with my family, mainly my mom and sister. Nothing was really planned. I woke up from what was pretty much the worst night in a really long time, in which I had barely any sleep, could barely eat, and had to shovel my driveway. It took me an incredibly long time considering the heavy snowfall and the rain that occurred after, making the snow even more difficult to shove aside. Anyways, after about an hour and 15 minutes, I was all done. Showered. Then, my mom, sister, and I ended up doing a bit of last minute Christmas shopping at Square One. It was an awful long time since the last time we actually spent some time together. And I just thought it was quite nice. I needed it. In either case, we ended up pretty much creating an itinerary for the rest of the day. We ended up buying a gingerbread train set which was pretty awesome compared to the gingerbread houses out there. We decided that we wanted to make holiday cookies and we're in search of a package of sugar cookie mix. However, everywhere we went, they were all out or didn't have any of the kind we wanted. After our wasted search we headed home to start with the rest of the night. When we got home, my sister remembered that we had a package of cookie mix somewhere.. but didn't exactly know where. After digging through some mysterious boxes, we found it. Cookies were officially on the to-do list of the night. Anyways, after that my mom had already prepared a bit of our holiday dinner beforehand, and had to continue to make the rest when we got home. Mash potatoes, gravy, roast beef, and mixed veggies. Mmmm. While my mom was doing that, my sister and I decided to go ahead with the construction and designing of our train. We were a delayed a little bit because we had to mix three colours of icing. Once that was done, we were ok to go and decorate. It was a little harder than I would have expected because the icing was a little runny. Oh well. None the less, all the pieces were decorated within probably an hour or so. It was pretty fun. Some parts were decorated pretty decently, while others should have been cast aside. While waiting for the pieces to dry, we had dinner, as a family, but minus my brother because he had to work. We hadn't had a sit down dinner in probably a year. It was actually pretty nice. People were making fun of each other. Me and my sister ganging up and poking fun at my dad. Me and my dad ganging up and insulting my sister. It was awesome. How lame do I seriously sound? Anyways, dinner was over and done with, so time to check on the trains. Everything seemed to have hardened, so we decided to try to assemble it together. After probably a good 20 mins trying to get the first cart together, we gave up. Nothing was sticking. There wasn't any sort of "tray". I am convinced that the one on the box is stuck together with actual glue. Anyways, we gave up and decided to put all the pieces on a nice cookie plate. After that fiasco, time to bake cookies! Going back, on our shopping trip, we dropped by Walmart in search of cookie cutters. We went to the baking isle and all they had were empty racks, in which the cookie cutters would be, and one lone teddy shaped cookie cutter. I dubbed him the holiday bear and had to buy him. We later found Christmas cookie cutters in a package on a completely non-related isle. Anyways, time to bake cookies. The mix was way too soft so we added more flour than the package suggested. We rolled out the dough, cookie cutted it, and baked. I probably had at least 10 holiday bears. But then something was weird with our oven and kept burning the cookies. None the less, it was fun. And bonus of the day, Chronicles of Narnia was on TV while we were baking.
In the end, no holiday cookies and no cool gingerbread train, but memories to last. I guess I've learned that you don't really have to try hard to have that perfect Christmas. Somehow, it just happens, which makes it all the more special. Throughout the year, families are always busy. I hardly ever see mine all at the same time. Work, school, and life just happens to always keep us apart. But being together, this day, just this once can make up for one entire year (even though my brother wasn't present xD). I probably couldn't ask for it to go any better.
So, I just want to wish you all a very happy holiday, and best wishes in the New Year.
A white-washed and frozen...sky.
I came to the door,
Eyes maladjusted...from the light,
But your voice rang clear.
You said, "For all I thought I'd ever need,
It's hard to face the holidays without."
Well I've left my last message on your machine.
It's hard to face the holidays
When you're looking for the words to say.
When you're looking for the words to say.
So you've found a friend,
To spend all your cold nights with him,
But if I was there
Then I'd wonder why,
You still wear my jacket
Closed with traces of my scent.
And I said, "For all I thought I'd ever need,
It's hard to face the holidays without."
Well I've left my last message in your machine.
It's hard to face the holidays,
When you're looking for the words to say.
So stay with me here.
Nose to nose,
Cold enough to see as our breath
Slowly escapes and exchanges...
From my lungs to yours,
From your mouth to mine.
For all I thought I'd ever need,
It's hard to face the holidays without.
Well I've left my last message on your machine.
It's hard to face the holidays
When you're looking for the words to say
(stay with me here
Nose to nose,
Cold enough to see as our breath)
When you're looking for the words to say.
When you're looking for the words to say.
(stay with me here
Nose to nose,
Cold enough to see as our breath)
When you're looking for the words to say.
When you're looking for the words to say.
------------------------------------------
It's Christmas Eve. For the past few weeks I have never been in much of a holiday mood. But what got me through exams was thinking about the holidays. Once that had passed, I was stressed out about work, finding out grades, other extracurricular things that the holiday spirit within me broke. I couldn't have cared less and by the time December 23rd came along, "Oh, Christmas is in two days...". But today changed everything.
Although it was indeed Christmas eve, I was able to spend it with my family, mainly my mom and sister. Nothing was really planned. I woke up from what was pretty much the worst night in a really long time, in which I had barely any sleep, could barely eat, and had to shovel my driveway. It took me an incredibly long time considering the heavy snowfall and the rain that occurred after, making the snow even more difficult to shove aside. Anyways, after about an hour and 15 minutes, I was all done. Showered. Then, my mom, sister, and I ended up doing a bit of last minute Christmas shopping at Square One. It was an awful long time since the last time we actually spent some time together. And I just thought it was quite nice. I needed it. In either case, we ended up pretty much creating an itinerary for the rest of the day. We ended up buying a gingerbread train set which was pretty awesome compared to the gingerbread houses out there. We decided that we wanted to make holiday cookies and we're in search of a package of sugar cookie mix. However, everywhere we went, they were all out or didn't have any of the kind we wanted. After our wasted search we headed home to start with the rest of the night. When we got home, my sister remembered that we had a package of cookie mix somewhere.. but didn't exactly know where. After digging through some mysterious boxes, we found it. Cookies were officially on the to-do list of the night. Anyways, after that my mom had already prepared a bit of our holiday dinner beforehand, and had to continue to make the rest when we got home. Mash potatoes, gravy, roast beef, and mixed veggies. Mmmm. While my mom was doing that, my sister and I decided to go ahead with the construction and designing of our train. We were a delayed a little bit because we had to mix three colours of icing. Once that was done, we were ok to go and decorate. It was a little harder than I would have expected because the icing was a little runny. Oh well. None the less, all the pieces were decorated within probably an hour or so. It was pretty fun. Some parts were decorated pretty decently, while others should have been cast aside. While waiting for the pieces to dry, we had dinner, as a family, but minus my brother because he had to work. We hadn't had a sit down dinner in probably a year. It was actually pretty nice. People were making fun of each other. Me and my sister ganging up and poking fun at my dad. Me and my dad ganging up and insulting my sister. It was awesome. How lame do I seriously sound? Anyways, dinner was over and done with, so time to check on the trains. Everything seemed to have hardened, so we decided to try to assemble it together. After probably a good 20 mins trying to get the first cart together, we gave up. Nothing was sticking. There wasn't any sort of "tray". I am convinced that the one on the box is stuck together with actual glue. Anyways, we gave up and decided to put all the pieces on a nice cookie plate. After that fiasco, time to bake cookies! Going back, on our shopping trip, we dropped by Walmart in search of cookie cutters. We went to the baking isle and all they had were empty racks, in which the cookie cutters would be, and one lone teddy shaped cookie cutter. I dubbed him the holiday bear and had to buy him. We later found Christmas cookie cutters in a package on a completely non-related isle. Anyways, time to bake cookies. The mix was way too soft so we added more flour than the package suggested. We rolled out the dough, cookie cutted it, and baked. I probably had at least 10 holiday bears. But then something was weird with our oven and kept burning the cookies. None the less, it was fun. And bonus of the day, Chronicles of Narnia was on TV while we were baking.
In the end, no holiday cookies and no cool gingerbread train, but memories to last. I guess I've learned that you don't really have to try hard to have that perfect Christmas. Somehow, it just happens, which makes it all the more special. Throughout the year, families are always busy. I hardly ever see mine all at the same time. Work, school, and life just happens to always keep us apart. But being together, this day, just this once can make up for one entire year (even though my brother wasn't present xD). I probably couldn't ask for it to go any better.
So, I just want to wish you all a very happy holiday, and best wishes in the New Year.
Monday, December 22, 2008
Perfect Christmas
Hello friend, it's me again
I just called to tell you,
Even though I miss you so
I've been thinking of you
All my dreams are coming true, at last
The perfect ending to a wonderful year
Will be to celebrate the good times with you here
Cuz I know,
For sure,
I never wanted anything more
The greatest gift that there could be
Wrapped underneath my Christmas tree
Would be the same my whole life through
I'd spend the perfect Christmas with you
Though the winter seems so long
My faith in love has kept me strong
So if I had a wish come true
I'd send the perfect Christmas with you
I can't wait
Till the day
When I finally see you
So hold on
I wont be long
Got so much to show you
All our dreams are coming true at last...ooh
The perfect ending to a wonderful year
Would be celebrate the good times with you here
Cuz I know
For sure
I never wanted anything more
The greatest gift that there could be
Wrapped underneath my Christmas tree
Would be the same my whole life through
I'd spend the perfect Christmas with you
So when you ask me what I mean
To me the Christmas is complete
Boy can't you see
You're the one thing missing for me
The greatest gift that there could be
Wrapped underneath my Christmas tree
Would be the same my whole life through
I'd spend the perfect Christmas with you
Though the winter seems so long
My faith in love has kept me strong
So if I had a wish come true
I'd spend the perfect Christmas....
And if I had one wish come true....
I'd spend the perfect Christmas here....
with you
-------------------------
I spent the day watching only the halves of movies. I don't know why, but I just got bored. I first started off with Jumper, seemed interesting. Then, I watched Love Actually. It was quite nice. I was all snuggled up in what probably was four blankets on my living room couch. The sky kept getting darker and I was more tired than I was supposed to be. Anyways, at about the part where they had the company Christmas party, I turned off my TV and went to bed.
After my sleep, I woke up with a minor panic attack. I'm not exactly sure what scientifically a panic attack is, but anyways, I felt a surge of stress and felt a bit overheated. Mind you, that could've been caused by my heater and three blankets. Back in the day, I've always wanted to move out by the time I am 22. With the new year and all, my new year's resolution is to save money for my goal of repaying my enormous OSAP loan, and primarily to move out. I have to come up with at least $20,000 by graduation. I'm going to have to cut things down dramatically. I have 1.5 years to make $20,000. After waking up, I had a sudden "What the fuck am I going to do?" moment. I'm going to have to work a minimum of 5 shifts a week, try to find an internship position/higher paying job, and study like mad to build my educational background. I need to limit my spending bi-weekly, and start an "untouchable account" for a bit. Fuck, I hate money issues. I don't know how people do it.
I just called to tell you,
Even though I miss you so
I've been thinking of you
All my dreams are coming true, at last
The perfect ending to a wonderful year
Will be to celebrate the good times with you here
Cuz I know,
For sure,
I never wanted anything more
The greatest gift that there could be
Wrapped underneath my Christmas tree
Would be the same my whole life through
I'd spend the perfect Christmas with you
Though the winter seems so long
My faith in love has kept me strong
So if I had a wish come true
I'd send the perfect Christmas with you
I can't wait
Till the day
When I finally see you
So hold on
I wont be long
Got so much to show you
All our dreams are coming true at last...ooh
The perfect ending to a wonderful year
Would be celebrate the good times with you here
Cuz I know
For sure
I never wanted anything more
The greatest gift that there could be
Wrapped underneath my Christmas tree
Would be the same my whole life through
I'd spend the perfect Christmas with you
So when you ask me what I mean
To me the Christmas is complete
Boy can't you see
You're the one thing missing for me
The greatest gift that there could be
Wrapped underneath my Christmas tree
Would be the same my whole life through
I'd spend the perfect Christmas with you
Though the winter seems so long
My faith in love has kept me strong
So if I had a wish come true
I'd spend the perfect Christmas....
And if I had one wish come true....
I'd spend the perfect Christmas here....
with you
-------------------------
I spent the day watching only the halves of movies. I don't know why, but I just got bored. I first started off with Jumper, seemed interesting. Then, I watched Love Actually. It was quite nice. I was all snuggled up in what probably was four blankets on my living room couch. The sky kept getting darker and I was more tired than I was supposed to be. Anyways, at about the part where they had the company Christmas party, I turned off my TV and went to bed.
After my sleep, I woke up with a minor panic attack. I'm not exactly sure what scientifically a panic attack is, but anyways, I felt a surge of stress and felt a bit overheated. Mind you, that could've been caused by my heater and three blankets. Back in the day, I've always wanted to move out by the time I am 22. With the new year and all, my new year's resolution is to save money for my goal of repaying my enormous OSAP loan, and primarily to move out. I have to come up with at least $20,000 by graduation. I'm going to have to cut things down dramatically. I have 1.5 years to make $20,000. After waking up, I had a sudden "What the fuck am I going to do?" moment. I'm going to have to work a minimum of 5 shifts a week, try to find an internship position/higher paying job, and study like mad to build my educational background. I need to limit my spending bi-weekly, and start an "untouchable account" for a bit. Fuck, I hate money issues. I don't know how people do it.
Sunday, December 21, 2008
Taxi Driver
I took cutie for a ride in my deathcab
She tipped me with a kiss I dropped her off at the meth lab
Before she left she made a dashboard confessional
And spilled her guts in cursive but whats worse is
I could still see her bright eyes like sunny day real estate
Oh my and in a funny way the ceiling tastes
So high but no chance
My little chemical romance left a bad taste in my mouth
But I approached her like hey mercedes why the long face
Why you cryin? theres no need
Just put on this coheed and fallout
Boy meets girl jimmy eat world
But Schlep eats pills till hes all out
Not once not twice she was thrice times a lady
Mackin on brand new, but I had to
Bounce over to the postal service to
Pick up these pills that take care of my nervousness
And all the way I saw planes and mistook 'em for stars
She played games but she took em too far
At the drive in
Watching soft porn and you can tell
By the trail of the dead, that there was somethin in the popcorn
I hop in my cab destination midtown
Just to get up with some kids that like to get down
I'd made my rounds and that was that
In between the frowns and scraps and heart attacks
And I remember I seen her ass in early November
On a Thursday taking back Sunday for a refund
She shot a wink like no hard feelings
Then she jetted to brazil man them pills had me spun
This is the story of the year right here
This is hot water music
Put ya ramen into it
-----------------------------
I didn't notice bands in it til recently. Way to be slow. I could only pick out a few of em.. then got a bit of help from a thing called Google. Great invention.
She tipped me with a kiss I dropped her off at the meth lab
Before she left she made a dashboard confessional
And spilled her guts in cursive but whats worse is
I could still see her bright eyes like sunny day real estate
Oh my and in a funny way the ceiling tastes
So high but no chance
My little chemical romance left a bad taste in my mouth
But I approached her like hey mercedes why the long face
Why you cryin? theres no need
Just put on this coheed and fallout
Boy meets girl jimmy eat world
But Schlep eats pills till hes all out
Not once not twice she was thrice times a lady
Mackin on brand new, but I had to
Bounce over to the postal service to
Pick up these pills that take care of my nervousness
And all the way I saw planes and mistook 'em for stars
She played games but she took em too far
At the drive in
Watching soft porn and you can tell
By the trail of the dead, that there was somethin in the popcorn
I hop in my cab destination midtown
Just to get up with some kids that like to get down
I'd made my rounds and that was that
In between the frowns and scraps and heart attacks
And I remember I seen her ass in early November
On a Thursday taking back Sunday for a refund
She shot a wink like no hard feelings
Then she jetted to brazil man them pills had me spun
This is the story of the year right here
This is hot water music
Put ya ramen into it
-----------------------------
I didn't notice bands in it til recently. Way to be slow. I could only pick out a few of em.. then got a bit of help from a thing called Google. Great invention.
Friday, December 19, 2008
So She Dances
A waltz when she walks in the room
She pulls back the hair from her face
She turns to the window to sway in the moonlight
Even her shadow has grace
A waltz for the girl out of reach
She lifts her hands up to the sky
She moves with the music
The song is her lover
The melody's making her cry
So she dances
In and out of the crowd like a glance
This romance is
From afar calling me silently
A waltz for the chance I should take
But how will I know where to start?
She's spinning between constellations and dreams
Her rhythm is my beating heart
So she dances
In and out of the crowd like a glance
This romance is
From afar calling me silently
I can't keep on watching forever
I'd give up this view just to tell her
When I close my eyes I can see
The spotlights are bright on you and me
We've got the floor
And you're in my arms
How could I ask for more?
So she dances
In and out of the crowd like a glance
This romance is
From afar calling me silently
I can't keep on watching forever
And I'm givin' up this view just to tell her
---------------------------------
I want you to stop pretending. Stop pretending so everyone else feels sorry for you. So you can build yourself up. Stop pretending you don't see it when clearly you can. You don't know that it hurts me. I'm too much of a coward to tell you that. Fuck. Blame everyone else, but all the blame falls on yourself. Too much of my life has been in the shadows of yours. It's time to let the sun fucking shine through. I hate that you can't see what it's doing to me. But, I'm afraid that if I don't encourage you to do what you do, that I will become you. I see what you've become and I don't want it. In the end, I want to stop pretending that it's ok. It's not fucking ok.
She pulls back the hair from her face
She turns to the window to sway in the moonlight
Even her shadow has grace
A waltz for the girl out of reach
She lifts her hands up to the sky
She moves with the music
The song is her lover
The melody's making her cry
So she dances
In and out of the crowd like a glance
This romance is
From afar calling me silently
A waltz for the chance I should take
But how will I know where to start?
She's spinning between constellations and dreams
Her rhythm is my beating heart
So she dances
In and out of the crowd like a glance
This romance is
From afar calling me silently
I can't keep on watching forever
I'd give up this view just to tell her
When I close my eyes I can see
The spotlights are bright on you and me
We've got the floor
And you're in my arms
How could I ask for more?
So she dances
In and out of the crowd like a glance
This romance is
From afar calling me silently
I can't keep on watching forever
And I'm givin' up this view just to tell her
---------------------------------
I want you to stop pretending. Stop pretending so everyone else feels sorry for you. So you can build yourself up. Stop pretending you don't see it when clearly you can. You don't know that it hurts me. I'm too much of a coward to tell you that. Fuck. Blame everyone else, but all the blame falls on yourself. Too much of my life has been in the shadows of yours. It's time to let the sun fucking shine through. I hate that you can't see what it's doing to me. But, I'm afraid that if I don't encourage you to do what you do, that I will become you. I see what you've become and I don't want it. In the end, I want to stop pretending that it's ok. It's not fucking ok.
Leave Out All The Rest
I dreamed I was missing, you were so scared
But no one would listen, 'cause no one else cared
After my dreaming, I woke with this fear
What am I leaving when I'm done here?
So if you're asking me, I want you to know
When my time comes, forget the wrong that I've done
Help me leave behind some reasons to be missed
Don't resent me, and when you're feeling empty
Keep me in your memory, leave out all the rest
Leave out all the rest, don't be afraid
I've taken my beating, I've shared what I made
I'm strong on the surface, not all the way through
I've never been perfect, but neither have you
So if you're asking me, I want you to know
When my time comes, forget the wrong that I've done
Help me leave behind some reasons to be missed
Don't resent me, and when you're feeling empty
Keep me in your memory, leave out all the rest
Leave out all the rest
Forgetting all the hurt inside you've learned to hide so well
Pretending someone else can come and save me from myself
I can't be who you are
When my time comes, forget the wrong that I've done
Help me leave behind some reasons to be missed
Don't resent me, and when you're feeling empty
Keep me in your memory, leave out all the rest
Leave out all the rest
Forgetting all the hurt inside you've learned to hide so well
Pretending someone else can come and save me from myself
I can't be who you are
I can't be who you are
---------------------------
As much as I've said and wanted it, this year is nothing different. Holidays are ending up as they usually do. Full of nothing special and going by way too fast. Full of stress that shouldn't be there. Expectations turned disappointments. Every year it ends up being the fucking same no matter how much I am trying to will it not to be. I wish to be anywhere but here. Anywhere.
I always want what I can't have.
Happiness isn't for me. If you knew, you would turn away. Don't say you won't because I know you'll be lying. No wonder why the Christmas season has the most suicides.
D. It is written
But no one would listen, 'cause no one else cared
After my dreaming, I woke with this fear
What am I leaving when I'm done here?
So if you're asking me, I want you to know
When my time comes, forget the wrong that I've done
Help me leave behind some reasons to be missed
Don't resent me, and when you're feeling empty
Keep me in your memory, leave out all the rest
Leave out all the rest, don't be afraid
I've taken my beating, I've shared what I made
I'm strong on the surface, not all the way through
I've never been perfect, but neither have you
So if you're asking me, I want you to know
When my time comes, forget the wrong that I've done
Help me leave behind some reasons to be missed
Don't resent me, and when you're feeling empty
Keep me in your memory, leave out all the rest
Leave out all the rest
Forgetting all the hurt inside you've learned to hide so well
Pretending someone else can come and save me from myself
I can't be who you are
When my time comes, forget the wrong that I've done
Help me leave behind some reasons to be missed
Don't resent me, and when you're feeling empty
Keep me in your memory, leave out all the rest
Leave out all the rest
Forgetting all the hurt inside you've learned to hide so well
Pretending someone else can come and save me from myself
I can't be who you are
I can't be who you are
---------------------------
As much as I've said and wanted it, this year is nothing different. Holidays are ending up as they usually do. Full of nothing special and going by way too fast. Full of stress that shouldn't be there. Expectations turned disappointments. Every year it ends up being the fucking same no matter how much I am trying to will it not to be. I wish to be anywhere but here. Anywhere.
I always want what I can't have.
Happiness isn't for me. If you knew, you would turn away. Don't say you won't because I know you'll be lying. No wonder why the Christmas season has the most suicides.
D. It is written
Saturday, December 13, 2008
I Want You To Want Me
I want you to want me.
I need you to need me.
I'd love you to love me.
I'm beggin' you to beg me.
I want you to want me.
I need you to need me.
I'd love you to love me.
I'll shine up the old brown shoes, put on a brand-new shirt.
I'll get home early from work if you say that you love me.
Didn't I, didn't I, didn't I see you cryin'?
Oh, didn't I, didn't I, didn't I see you cryin'?
Feelin' all alone without a friend, you know you feel like dyin'.
Oh, didn't I, didn't I, didn't I see you cryin'?
I want you to want me.
I need you to need me.
I'd love you to love me.
I'm beggin' you to beg me.
I'll shine up the old brown shoes, put on a brand-new shirt.
I'll get home early from work if you say that you love me.
Didn't I, didn't I, didn't I see you cryin'?
Oh, didn't I, didn't I, didn't I see you cryin'?
Feelin' all alone without a friend, you know you feel like dyin'.
Oh, didn't I, didn't I, didn't I see you cryin'?
Feelin' all alone without a friend, you know you feel like dyin'.
Oh, didn't I, didn't I, didn't I see you cryin'?
I want you to want me.
I need you to need me.
I'd love you to love me.
I'm beggin' you to beg me.
I want you to want me.
I want you to want me.
I want you to want me.
I want you to want me.
------------------------------------
I am so fucking bored. Although I always wish that I don't get called into work for a rain shift, I am unbelievably bored. So, I sit here blogging and watching "10 Things I Hate About You". High school life was nothing compared to the movies is all I have to say.
I can't fall into old patterns. Don't do it.
I need you to need me.
I'd love you to love me.
I'm beggin' you to beg me.
I want you to want me.
I need you to need me.
I'd love you to love me.
I'll shine up the old brown shoes, put on a brand-new shirt.
I'll get home early from work if you say that you love me.
Didn't I, didn't I, didn't I see you cryin'?
Oh, didn't I, didn't I, didn't I see you cryin'?
Feelin' all alone without a friend, you know you feel like dyin'.
Oh, didn't I, didn't I, didn't I see you cryin'?
I want you to want me.
I need you to need me.
I'd love you to love me.
I'm beggin' you to beg me.
I'll shine up the old brown shoes, put on a brand-new shirt.
I'll get home early from work if you say that you love me.
Didn't I, didn't I, didn't I see you cryin'?
Oh, didn't I, didn't I, didn't I see you cryin'?
Feelin' all alone without a friend, you know you feel like dyin'.
Oh, didn't I, didn't I, didn't I see you cryin'?
Feelin' all alone without a friend, you know you feel like dyin'.
Oh, didn't I, didn't I, didn't I see you cryin'?
I want you to want me.
I need you to need me.
I'd love you to love me.
I'm beggin' you to beg me.
I want you to want me.
I want you to want me.
I want you to want me.
I want you to want me.
------------------------------------
I am so fucking bored. Although I always wish that I don't get called into work for a rain shift, I am unbelievably bored. So, I sit here blogging and watching "10 Things I Hate About You". High school life was nothing compared to the movies is all I have to say.
I can't fall into old patterns. Don't do it.
Thursday, December 11, 2008
The Call
It started out as a feeling
Which then grew into hope
Which then turned into a quiet thought
Which then turned into a quiet word
And then that word grew louder and louder
Till it was a battle cry
I'll come back when you call me
No need to say goodbye
Just because everything's changing
Doesn't mean it's never been this way before
All you can do is try to know who your friends are
As you head off to the war
Pick a star on the dark horizon and follow the light
You'll come back when it's over
No need to say goodbye
You'll come back when it's over
No need to say goodbye
Now we're back to the beginning
It's just a feeling and no one knows yet
But just because they can't feel it, too
Doesn't means that you have to forget
Let your memories grow stronger and stronger
Till they're before your eyes
You'll come back when they call you
No need to say goodbye
You'll come back when they call you
No need to say goodbye bye
------------------------------------
I just bought "The Chronicles of Narnia: Prince Caspian" on DVD. I'm so psyched to watch it and fall in love with Narnia... and Prince Caspian again. Yay for imaginary lands and princes that are too hot for their own good.
Which then grew into hope
Which then turned into a quiet thought
Which then turned into a quiet word
And then that word grew louder and louder
Till it was a battle cry
I'll come back when you call me
No need to say goodbye
Just because everything's changing
Doesn't mean it's never been this way before
All you can do is try to know who your friends are
As you head off to the war
Pick a star on the dark horizon and follow the light
You'll come back when it's over
No need to say goodbye
You'll come back when it's over
No need to say goodbye
Now we're back to the beginning
It's just a feeling and no one knows yet
But just because they can't feel it, too
Doesn't means that you have to forget
Let your memories grow stronger and stronger
Till they're before your eyes
You'll come back when they call you
No need to say goodbye
You'll come back when they call you
No need to say goodbye bye
------------------------------------
I just bought "The Chronicles of Narnia: Prince Caspian" on DVD. I'm so psyched to watch it and fall in love with Narnia... and Prince Caspian again. Yay for imaginary lands and princes that are too hot for their own good.
Monday, December 8, 2008
Safe To Say
We watched the sunset and we told ourselves to never forget,
Just how good it felt to be surrounded
By a town that we knew like the back of our hands.
We felt alive, hoped for the very first time
Is it safe to say in the morning you'll come back
And things will be the same?
'Cause since the day you left, you know I've
Had a hard time and I want you to know
If you hear these words, won't you please just come back?
It's been a year now
But I still appreciate the sundown.
It reminds me somehow things will work out
And I'll fall to your arms, just like I'd always do
It felt so good, it was the very first time I felt alive.
Yeah, so alive.
Is it safe to say in the morning you'll come back
And things will be the same
'Cause since the day you left, you know I've
Had a hard time and I want you to know
If you hear these words, won't you please just come back?
If I could sing this out loud, I'd scream it to the clouds.
And everyone in this town would know what I'm about.
Rather die than feel this pain take me over again.
It's so hard to let you go.
Is it safe to say?
Is it safe to say in the morning you'll come back
And things will be the same?
'Cause since the day you left, you know I've
Had a hard time and I want you to know
If you hear these words, won't you please just come back?
---------------------------------------
I blame others when every decision was made by me. Time is ticking and it's wasting away doing nothing, keeping me here at the same spot time and time again. I'm here because of what I chose to do, thinking it will work itself out. I need to own up and make better decisions that will get me where I need to be. I can't blame fate because it's my fault. Focus on the end and don't stop until I get there. Think forward, regret less.
Fuck you.
Just how good it felt to be surrounded
By a town that we knew like the back of our hands.
We felt alive, hoped for the very first time
Is it safe to say in the morning you'll come back
And things will be the same?
'Cause since the day you left, you know I've
Had a hard time and I want you to know
If you hear these words, won't you please just come back?
It's been a year now
But I still appreciate the sundown.
It reminds me somehow things will work out
And I'll fall to your arms, just like I'd always do
It felt so good, it was the very first time I felt alive.
Yeah, so alive.
Is it safe to say in the morning you'll come back
And things will be the same
'Cause since the day you left, you know I've
Had a hard time and I want you to know
If you hear these words, won't you please just come back?
If I could sing this out loud, I'd scream it to the clouds.
And everyone in this town would know what I'm about.
Rather die than feel this pain take me over again.
It's so hard to let you go.
Is it safe to say?
Is it safe to say in the morning you'll come back
And things will be the same?
'Cause since the day you left, you know I've
Had a hard time and I want you to know
If you hear these words, won't you please just come back?
---------------------------------------
I blame others when every decision was made by me. Time is ticking and it's wasting away doing nothing, keeping me here at the same spot time and time again. I'm here because of what I chose to do, thinking it will work itself out. I need to own up and make better decisions that will get me where I need to be. I can't blame fate because it's my fault. Focus on the end and don't stop until I get there. Think forward, regret less.
Fuck you.
Sunday, December 7, 2008
May Your Heart
May your heart be never alone when
The dawn's breaking
May your life be a rolling stone when
The ground starts shaking
And the world is waking
All I can tell you is to know who you are
And if they hurt you they can never do you harm
And if you want to you can love 'em till
The cold turns warm
May your kiss always feel like the first kisses
And may your truth help you heal
May you catch big fishes and get all your wishes
All I can tell you is to know who you are...
If you want me (I will be there)
If you need me (I will be there)
If you want me (I will be there)
Can you hear me?
If you're waiting (I will be there)
Your heart's aching (I will be there)
If you need me (I will be there)
Can you hear me?
And when you're lonely (I will be there)
When you call me (I will be there)
If you need me (I will be there)
Believe me I'm going nowhere
May your heart be never alone.
---------------------------------
May your heart be never alone.
The dawn's breaking
May your life be a rolling stone when
The ground starts shaking
And the world is waking
All I can tell you is to know who you are
And if they hurt you they can never do you harm
And if you want to you can love 'em till
The cold turns warm
May your kiss always feel like the first kisses
And may your truth help you heal
May you catch big fishes and get all your wishes
All I can tell you is to know who you are...
If you want me (I will be there)
If you need me (I will be there)
If you want me (I will be there)
Can you hear me?
If you're waiting (I will be there)
Your heart's aching (I will be there)
If you need me (I will be there)
Can you hear me?
And when you're lonely (I will be there)
When you call me (I will be there)
If you need me (I will be there)
Believe me I'm going nowhere
May your heart be never alone.
---------------------------------
May your heart be never alone.
Saturday, December 6, 2008
Believe
Children sleeping, snow is softly falling
Dreams are calling like bells in the distance
We were dreamers not so long ago
But one by one we all had to grow up
When it seems the magic's slipped away
We find it all again on Christmas day
Believe in what your heart is saying
Hear the melody that's playing
There's no time to waste
There's so much to celebrate
Believe in what you feel inside
And give your dreams the wings to fly
You have everything you need
If you just believe
Trains move quickly to their journey's end
Destinations are where we begin again
Ships go sailing far across the sea
Trusting starlight to get where they need to be
When it seems that we have lost our way
We find ourselves again on Christmas day
Believe in what your heart is saying
Hear the melody that's playing
There's no time to waste
There's so much to celebrate
Believe in what you feel inside
And give your dreams the wings to fly
You have everything you need
If you just believe
Just believe
---------------------------------------
And so let the Christmas celebrating begin...
I finished 3/4 exams and time to relax just a bit. For the past 4 days straight, I have been studying for my exams... for Wednesday, Friday, and today. So sad my life has become. Christmas is coming slowly but surely. I'm watching The Family Stone right now, and I'm so excited since my next exam is four days from now. Then time to read and have some time to sleep! I love sleep. I loveeee sleep. Enough about that.
So today I decide to be cute and all and wear tights with a dress and no socks in my shoes. Who knew it would be unbelievably fucking cold. But no worries, my feet are still intact. As I got off the bus on the way home, it started snowing. Not the chunky, flaky kind. It was the small, barely-a-snowflake kind, fluttering slowly with the wind. Just the early signs of what winter has to offer. It was quite relaxing, despite the coldness against my legs. Quite beautiful really. Just solids that have been to the skies and back, disappearing once the wind has taken it where it had to go. So that's my story about snow. I usually hate snow. But not today.
Update: A shitload of snow just fell.
Dreams are calling like bells in the distance
We were dreamers not so long ago
But one by one we all had to grow up
When it seems the magic's slipped away
We find it all again on Christmas day
Believe in what your heart is saying
Hear the melody that's playing
There's no time to waste
There's so much to celebrate
Believe in what you feel inside
And give your dreams the wings to fly
You have everything you need
If you just believe
Trains move quickly to their journey's end
Destinations are where we begin again
Ships go sailing far across the sea
Trusting starlight to get where they need to be
When it seems that we have lost our way
We find ourselves again on Christmas day
Believe in what your heart is saying
Hear the melody that's playing
There's no time to waste
There's so much to celebrate
Believe in what you feel inside
And give your dreams the wings to fly
You have everything you need
If you just believe
Just believe
---------------------------------------
And so let the Christmas celebrating begin...
I finished 3/4 exams and time to relax just a bit. For the past 4 days straight, I have been studying for my exams... for Wednesday, Friday, and today. So sad my life has become. Christmas is coming slowly but surely. I'm watching The Family Stone right now, and I'm so excited since my next exam is four days from now. Then time to read and have some time to sleep! I love sleep. I loveeee sleep. Enough about that.
So today I decide to be cute and all and wear tights with a dress and no socks in my shoes. Who knew it would be unbelievably fucking cold. But no worries, my feet are still intact. As I got off the bus on the way home, it started snowing. Not the chunky, flaky kind. It was the small, barely-a-snowflake kind, fluttering slowly with the wind. Just the early signs of what winter has to offer. It was quite relaxing, despite the coldness against my legs. Quite beautiful really. Just solids that have been to the skies and back, disappearing once the wind has taken it where it had to go. So that's my story about snow. I usually hate snow. But not today.
Update: A shitload of snow just fell.
Thursday, December 4, 2008
Fearless
There's something about the way
The street looks when it's just rained
There’s a glow off the pavement
You walk me to the car
And you know I want to ask you to dance right there
In the middle of the parking lot
Yeah
We're drivin' down the road
I wonder if you know
I'm tryin' so hard not to get caught up now
But you're just so cool
Run your hands through your hair
Absentmindedly makin' me want you
And I don't know how it gets better than this
You take my hand and drag me head first
Fearless
And I don't know why but with you I'd dance
In a storm in my best dress
Fearless
So baby drive slow
‘Til we run out of road in this one horse town
I wanna stay right here in this passenger’s seat
You put your eyes on me
In this moment now capture it, remember it
and I don't know how it gets better than this
You take my hand and drag me head first
Fearless
And I don't know why but with you I’d dance
In a storm in my best dress
Fearless
Well you stood there with me in the doorway
My hands shake
I'm not usually this way but
You pull me in and I’m a little more brave
It’s the first kiss,
It's flawless,
Really something,
It’s fearless.
Oh yeah
Cuz I don't know how it gets better than this
You take my hand and drag me head first
Fearless
And I don't know why but with you I'd dance
In a storm in my best dress
Fearless
oh, oh
---------------------------------
It's hard to say that I am afraid. Run and never look back. I'll let you know how it turns out.
The street looks when it's just rained
There’s a glow off the pavement
You walk me to the car
And you know I want to ask you to dance right there
In the middle of the parking lot
Yeah
We're drivin' down the road
I wonder if you know
I'm tryin' so hard not to get caught up now
But you're just so cool
Run your hands through your hair
Absentmindedly makin' me want you
And I don't know how it gets better than this
You take my hand and drag me head first
Fearless
And I don't know why but with you I'd dance
In a storm in my best dress
Fearless
So baby drive slow
‘Til we run out of road in this one horse town
I wanna stay right here in this passenger’s seat
You put your eyes on me
In this moment now capture it, remember it
and I don't know how it gets better than this
You take my hand and drag me head first
Fearless
And I don't know why but with you I’d dance
In a storm in my best dress
Fearless
Well you stood there with me in the doorway
My hands shake
I'm not usually this way but
You pull me in and I’m a little more brave
It’s the first kiss,
It's flawless,
Really something,
It’s fearless.
Oh yeah
Cuz I don't know how it gets better than this
You take my hand and drag me head first
Fearless
And I don't know why but with you I'd dance
In a storm in my best dress
Fearless
oh, oh
---------------------------------
It's hard to say that I am afraid. Run and never look back. I'll let you know how it turns out.
Monday, December 1, 2008
Lullaby
Didn’t they teach you?
Everything’s okay if you settle enough?
Forget your dreams
Let’s pretend I’m everything you want me to be
Complicated breathing
You never had the guts just to throw me away
Life moves slow
When everything’s a worse version of what you need
And I’m just the ground
That you happened to fall on
When you lost your balance walking around in the rain
And you got to your feet
Scratched your head and started to gather
The life that you dropped all around me
I can’t fight for a graveyard anymore
Some people have their money
To keep their legs pumping away at the ground
What moves me is fear
That I'll always be alone at the end of the day (at the end of the day)
And I’m just the ground
That you happened to fall on
When you lost your balance walking around in the rain
And you got to your feet
Scratched your head and started to gather
The life that you dropped all around me
I can’t fight for a graveyard
I can’t fight for a graveyard anymore
I’m just the ground
That you happened to fall on
I’m just the ground
I’m just the ground
I’m just the ground
And I’m just the ground
That you happened to fall on
When you lost your balance walking around in the rain
And you got to your feet
Scratched your head and started to gather
The life that you dropped all around me
I’m just the ground
I’m just the ground
I’m just the ground
I’m just the ground
I can’t fight for a graveyard anymore
---------------------------------
How do I keep the light from disappearing in your eyes, when you want it to?
Everything’s okay if you settle enough?
Forget your dreams
Let’s pretend I’m everything you want me to be
Complicated breathing
You never had the guts just to throw me away
Life moves slow
When everything’s a worse version of what you need
And I’m just the ground
That you happened to fall on
When you lost your balance walking around in the rain
And you got to your feet
Scratched your head and started to gather
The life that you dropped all around me
I can’t fight for a graveyard anymore
Some people have their money
To keep their legs pumping away at the ground
What moves me is fear
That I'll always be alone at the end of the day (at the end of the day)
And I’m just the ground
That you happened to fall on
When you lost your balance walking around in the rain
And you got to your feet
Scratched your head and started to gather
The life that you dropped all around me
I can’t fight for a graveyard
I can’t fight for a graveyard anymore
I’m just the ground
That you happened to fall on
I’m just the ground
I’m just the ground
I’m just the ground
And I’m just the ground
That you happened to fall on
When you lost your balance walking around in the rain
And you got to your feet
Scratched your head and started to gather
The life that you dropped all around me
I’m just the ground
I’m just the ground
I’m just the ground
I’m just the ground
I can’t fight for a graveyard anymore
---------------------------------
How do I keep the light from disappearing in your eyes, when you want it to?
Saturday, November 29, 2008
Don't Be So Hard
Don't be so hard on yourself
The name of the game is humiliation,
And thanks for your admiration.
I never thought I'd say this:
The way that we play has such confrontation:
And guilt by association.
"Hold me, hold me..."
"If I were to..."
"I can't, can't, I swear I can't let you."
"It's all in your hands but I'll do what I can,
So you can do what you have to."
Don't think too hard about it,
You never thought I'd get this far,
Would get this far without you.
Relax, stand back and watch it happen.
I'll wave my goodbyes into the night and say
"Hold me, hold me..."
"If I were to..."
"I can't, can't, I swear I can't let you."
"It's all in your hands but I'll do what I can,
So you can do what you have to."
Say you'll never, ever. Say you'll never, ever.
Say you'll never let me go.
Say you'll never, ever. Say you'll never, ever.
Say you'll never tell a soul.
"Hold me, hold me..."
"If I were to..."
"I can't, can't, I swear I can't let you."
"It's all in your hands but I'll do what I can,
So you can do what you have to."
-------------------------------
Disappointment.
All I can do is hope for the best the next time around.
The name of the game is humiliation,
And thanks for your admiration.
I never thought I'd say this:
The way that we play has such confrontation:
And guilt by association.
"Hold me, hold me..."
"If I were to..."
"I can't, can't, I swear I can't let you."
"It's all in your hands but I'll do what I can,
So you can do what you have to."
Don't think too hard about it,
You never thought I'd get this far,
Would get this far without you.
Relax, stand back and watch it happen.
I'll wave my goodbyes into the night and say
"Hold me, hold me..."
"If I were to..."
"I can't, can't, I swear I can't let you."
"It's all in your hands but I'll do what I can,
So you can do what you have to."
Say you'll never, ever. Say you'll never, ever.
Say you'll never let me go.
Say you'll never, ever. Say you'll never, ever.
Say you'll never tell a soul.
"Hold me, hold me..."
"If I were to..."
"I can't, can't, I swear I can't let you."
"It's all in your hands but I'll do what I can,
So you can do what you have to."
-------------------------------
Disappointment.
All I can do is hope for the best the next time around.
Thursday, November 27, 2008
Believe Me I'm Lying
Hey, you always seem to catch me when I lying
About the stupidest of things.
Okay, you stand there while I stab you in the back
With the words (that I told you)
"I never, never, never, should have taken this so far."
Go ahead and buy yourself a drink
Cause you know you're deserving of it
Go ahead and cry yourself to sleep
And think how you hate me so bad.
You know hate me so bad.
I could write about a thousand songs to impress you.
But I wouldn't want to do that
I could make you feel like queen of the world but I won't
Because you’re full of imperfections.
This is coming from a third perspective
All I’m saying is you need to be selective
This is coming from a gentleman
With your needs in mind, I got his on the sideline
Go ahead and buy yourself a drink
Cause you know you're deserving of it
Go ahead and cry yourself to sleep
Go ahead and buy yourself a drink.
Cause you know you’re deserving of it.
Go ahead and cry yourself to sleep,
And think how you hate me so bad.
-------------------------------------
Fast times this week.
Tuesday was pretty awesome. Cobra Fucking Starship!
OK. We ended up lining up for about 12 hours with a bunch of other girls. 10 minutes separated us from them. We're awesome. Anyways, this was the day I hate all Meet and Greets. Of course, when it's me, its ok xP. Enough about that. The show was awesome. It was awkward during Sing It Loud and Hit The Lights. I didn't know any lyrics, just song titles. I have them on my iTunes, yet hardly any plays. Oh well. FTSK came on. Pretty awesome. It was my first FTSK experience and it was quite entertaining. They played ''Catastrophe'' which I hear they don't play very often which was a bonus for a first-timer like me. Then before Cobra came on, my dear Jenicka, kind of.. passed out. But it was all cool when she came back during the middle of the set...
The show ended at around 11pm. It was freaking cold by this time. But the end of the show means chillage with band members. I must say that I freaking love Suarez! Thinking of him just makes me go, "awwww''. While taking our picture, he pulled my arm over his shoulder, saying "Come on, get your arm around me", which I thought was so cute. Because I usually just put the arm/hand on the back, and it was cute how he told me to do that. While waiting for this photo, I was drinking a can of coke, and Jenicka asked if I wanted her to hold it during the pic and I don't remember who it was but we decide to have a bit of product placement in this photo. So, me holding a can of coke, with my arm around Suarez, waiting for a pic. Then, he joins in on the action and holds the can of coke with me, which I thought was super cute. And the cherry on top, which I didn't realize, was the face he was making which was adorable. Mind you, this man is probably at least 25. I heart Suarez.
About the stupidest of things.
Okay, you stand there while I stab you in the back
With the words (that I told you)
"I never, never, never, should have taken this so far."
Go ahead and buy yourself a drink
Cause you know you're deserving of it
Go ahead and cry yourself to sleep
And think how you hate me so bad.
You know hate me so bad.
I could write about a thousand songs to impress you.
But I wouldn't want to do that
I could make you feel like queen of the world but I won't
Because you’re full of imperfections.
This is coming from a third perspective
All I’m saying is you need to be selective
This is coming from a gentleman
With your needs in mind, I got his on the sideline
Go ahead and buy yourself a drink
Cause you know you're deserving of it
Go ahead and cry yourself to sleep
Go ahead and buy yourself a drink.
Cause you know you’re deserving of it.
Go ahead and cry yourself to sleep,
And think how you hate me so bad.
-------------------------------------
Fast times this week.
Tuesday was pretty awesome. Cobra Fucking Starship!
OK. We ended up lining up for about 12 hours with a bunch of other girls. 10 minutes separated us from them. We're awesome. Anyways, this was the day I hate all Meet and Greets. Of course, when it's me, its ok xP. Enough about that. The show was awesome. It was awkward during Sing It Loud and Hit The Lights. I didn't know any lyrics, just song titles. I have them on my iTunes, yet hardly any plays. Oh well. FTSK came on. Pretty awesome. It was my first FTSK experience and it was quite entertaining. They played ''Catastrophe'' which I hear they don't play very often which was a bonus for a first-timer like me. Then before Cobra came on, my dear Jenicka, kind of.. passed out. But it was all cool when she came back during the middle of the set...
The show ended at around 11pm. It was freaking cold by this time. But the end of the show means chillage with band members. I must say that I freaking love Suarez! Thinking of him just makes me go, "awwww''. While taking our picture, he pulled my arm over his shoulder, saying "Come on, get your arm around me", which I thought was so cute. Because I usually just put the arm/hand on the back, and it was cute how he told me to do that. While waiting for this photo, I was drinking a can of coke, and Jenicka asked if I wanted her to hold it during the pic and I don't remember who it was but we decide to have a bit of product placement in this photo. So, me holding a can of coke, with my arm around Suarez, waiting for a pic. Then, he joins in on the action and holds the can of coke with me, which I thought was super cute. And the cherry on top, which I didn't realize, was the face he was making which was adorable. Mind you, this man is probably at least 25. I heart Suarez.
Sunday, November 23, 2008
Rumored Nights
I walked you home most days
to beat the traffic after class
with all my best intentions.
But when the weather changed,
like fine print, you were hard to read.
Blind-folded, eyes wide open,
staring through me.
I never heard the words that were spoken,
with the rumored nights, with the rendezvous.
I never thought the whispers were true ‘til now…
I saw things that I shouldn’t have tonight, tonight.
I know now what I couldn’t have,
I’ve gone too far to turn it back
I’ve gone too far to turn it back
Followed you home halfway,
over the fence to your backyard,
with all my best intentions.
And through your window frame,
outstretched and lying on your bed,
Blind-folded, eyes wide open,
staring through me.
I never heard the words that were spoken,
with the rumored nights, with the rendezvous.
I never look at you like I used to now
I saw things that I shouldn’t have tonight, tonight.
I know now what I couldn’t have,
I’ve gone too far to turn it back
I’ve gone too far to turn it back
Uninvited, no one knows
how much I care, how bad you are,
How good we’d be, but you won’t let me in
Goodnight I’m leaving.
I never heard the words that were spoken,
with the rumored nights, with the rendezvous.
I never thought the whispers were true ‘til now…
I saw things that I shouldn’t have tonight, tonight.
I know now what I couldn’t have,
I’ve gone too far to turn it back
I saw things that I shouldn’t have tonight, tonight.
I know now what I couldn’t have,
I’ve gone too far to turn it back
I walked you home most days
I had the best intentions
I walked you home most days
I had the best intentions
I walked you home most day
----------------------------
Day One of concert week has come and passed and I have nothing more to say other than that I love The Academy Is... (what else is new?). From waiting in line for 15 hours in -10ish degree weather with my bestie, to sketched out drug transactions (or so it seemed), to annoying teenage hipsters, and to bitches in green pants, and finally to 20 minutes of painful kneeling before the show even started... I can safely say that all that was worth it once the lights were off and The Academy Is... took to the stage. They played songs from all three albums. I was surprised how much of Fast Times they played because it just went by so quick. Here's a list (in no particular order) of the songs that were played...
Fast times：
Summer Hair = Forever Young
About A Girl
Rumored Nights
His Friday Girl
After The Last Midtown Show
One More Weekend
The Test (Acoustic)
Santi:
Neighbors
Everything We Had
Seed
Big Mess
Almost Here:
Slow Down
CLASSIFIEDS!
Checkmarks
Black Mamba
Phrase That Pays
Almost Here
It was an incredible set and memories to last a lifetime (especially for Jenicka, ask her lol). The day was full of laughter, love and friends. What more could I ask for? In the end, everything happens for a resaon and it wouldn't be the same if it didnt. And, I would do it all again.
to beat the traffic after class
with all my best intentions.
But when the weather changed,
like fine print, you were hard to read.
Blind-folded, eyes wide open,
staring through me.
I never heard the words that were spoken,
with the rumored nights, with the rendezvous.
I never thought the whispers were true ‘til now…
I saw things that I shouldn’t have tonight, tonight.
I know now what I couldn’t have,
I’ve gone too far to turn it back
I’ve gone too far to turn it back
Followed you home halfway,
over the fence to your backyard,
with all my best intentions.
And through your window frame,
outstretched and lying on your bed,
Blind-folded, eyes wide open,
staring through me.
I never heard the words that were spoken,
with the rumored nights, with the rendezvous.
I never look at you like I used to now
I saw things that I shouldn’t have tonight, tonight.
I know now what I couldn’t have,
I’ve gone too far to turn it back
I’ve gone too far to turn it back
Uninvited, no one knows
how much I care, how bad you are,
How good we’d be, but you won’t let me in
Goodnight I’m leaving.
I never heard the words that were spoken,
with the rumored nights, with the rendezvous.
I never thought the whispers were true ‘til now…
I saw things that I shouldn’t have tonight, tonight.
I know now what I couldn’t have,
I’ve gone too far to turn it back
I saw things that I shouldn’t have tonight, tonight.
I know now what I couldn’t have,
I’ve gone too far to turn it back
I walked you home most days
I had the best intentions
I walked you home most days
I had the best intentions
I walked you home most day
----------------------------
Day One of concert week has come and passed and I have nothing more to say other than that I love The Academy Is... (what else is new?). From waiting in line for 15 hours in -10ish degree weather with my bestie, to sketched out drug transactions (or so it seemed), to annoying teenage hipsters, and to bitches in green pants, and finally to 20 minutes of painful kneeling before the show even started... I can safely say that all that was worth it once the lights were off and The Academy Is... took to the stage. They played songs from all three albums. I was surprised how much of Fast Times they played because it just went by so quick. Here's a list (in no particular order) of the songs that were played...
Fast times：
Summer Hair = Forever Young
About A Girl
Rumored Nights
His Friday Girl
After The Last Midtown Show
One More Weekend
The Test (Acoustic)
Santi:
Neighbors
Everything We Had
Seed
Big Mess
Almost Here:
Slow Down
CLASSIFIEDS!
Checkmarks
Black Mamba
Phrase That Pays
Almost Here
It was an incredible set and memories to last a lifetime (especially for Jenicka, ask her lol). The day was full of laughter, love and friends. What more could I ask for? In the end, everything happens for a resaon and it wouldn't be the same if it didnt. And, I would do it all again.
Thursday, November 20, 2008
Happy Ending
This is the way you left me,
I'm not pretending.
No hope, no love, no glory,
No Happy Ending.
This is the way that we love,
Like it's forever.
Then live the rest of our life,
But not together.
Wake up in the morning, stumble on my life
Can't get no love without sacrifice
If anything should happen, I guess I wish you well
A little bit of heaven, but a little bit of hell
This is the hardest story that I've ever told
No hope, or love, or glory
Happy endings gone forever more
I feel as if I'm wasted
And I'm wastin' every day
This is the way you left me,
I'm not pretending.
No hope, no love, no glory,
No Happy Ending.
This is the way that we love,
Like it's forever.
Then live the rest of our life,
But not together.
2 o'clock in the morning, something's on my mind
Can't get no rest; keep walkin' around
If I pretend that nothin' ever went wrong, I can get to my sleep
I can think that we just carried on
This is the hardest story that I've ever told
No hope, or love, or glory
Happy endings gone forever more
I feel as if I'm wasted
And I'm wastin' every day
This is the way you left me,
I'm not pretending.
No hope, no love, no glory,
No Happy Ending.
This is the way that we love,
Like it's forever.
Then live the rest of our life,
But not together.
A Little bit of love, little bit of love
Little bit of love, little bit of love[repeat]
I feel as if I'm wasted
And I waste everyday
This is the way you left me,
I'm not pretending.
No hope, no love, no glory,
No Happy Ending.
This is the way that we love,
Like it's forever.
To live the rest of our life,
But not together.
----------------------------------
I don't know how much longer I can wait. It's hard knowing something better will come along, but does it have to take so long? I'm just a impatient girl who wants only what the heart wants.
I'm not pretending.
No hope, no love, no glory,
No Happy Ending.
This is the way that we love,
Like it's forever.
Then live the rest of our life,
But not together.
Wake up in the morning, stumble on my life
Can't get no love without sacrifice
If anything should happen, I guess I wish you well
A little bit of heaven, but a little bit of hell
This is the hardest story that I've ever told
No hope, or love, or glory
Happy endings gone forever more
I feel as if I'm wasted
And I'm wastin' every day
This is the way you left me,
I'm not pretending.
No hope, no love, no glory,
No Happy Ending.
This is the way that we love,
Like it's forever.
Then live the rest of our life,
But not together.
2 o'clock in the morning, something's on my mind
Can't get no rest; keep walkin' around
If I pretend that nothin' ever went wrong, I can get to my sleep
I can think that we just carried on
This is the hardest story that I've ever told
No hope, or love, or glory
Happy endings gone forever more
I feel as if I'm wasted
And I'm wastin' every day
This is the way you left me,
I'm not pretending.
No hope, no love, no glory,
No Happy Ending.
This is the way that we love,
Like it's forever.
Then live the rest of our life,
But not together.
A Little bit of love, little bit of love
Little bit of love, little bit of love[repeat]
I feel as if I'm wasted
And I waste everyday
This is the way you left me,
I'm not pretending.
No hope, no love, no glory,
No Happy Ending.
This is the way that we love,
Like it's forever.
To live the rest of our life,
But not together.
----------------------------------
I don't know how much longer I can wait. It's hard knowing something better will come along, but does it have to take so long? I'm just a impatient girl who wants only what the heart wants.
Tuesday, November 18, 2008
Take My Hand
Calm your nerves now
Don't worry, just breathe
Are you sure now?
Don't bother packing, let's just leave
Said they wanted change
I hope that you remain the same
To show that this is not a game
Let's end this tragedy today
Now take my hand and we will run away
Down to this place that I know
How did this night become the enemy?
It's over, it's over, it's over
Lay down with me
Let me hold you, baby just breathe
This is ending
We will get through eventually
Said they wanted change
I hope that you remain the same
To show that this is not a game
We'll end this tragedy today
Now take my hand and we will run away
Down to this place that I know
How did this night become the enemy?
It's over, it's over, it's over
Take my hand and we will run away
Down to this place that I know
And did this night become the enemy?
It's over, it's over, it's over now
We won't be a part of
We won't be a part of this
We won't be a part of
We won't be a part of this
We won't be a part of
We won't be a part of this
We won't be a part of
We won't, we won't
Take my hand and we will run away
Down to this place that I know
How did this night become the enemy?
It's over, it's over, it's over
Now take my hand and we will run away
Down to this place that I know
How did this night become the enemy?
It's over, it's over, it's over
Take my hand and we will run away
Down to this place that I know
How did this night become the enemy?
It's over, it's over, it's over now
We won't be a part of
We won't be a part of this
We won't be a part of
We won't, we won't
------------------------------
I wish I could runaway right now... if only I had resources.
Don't worry, just breathe
Are you sure now?
Don't bother packing, let's just leave
Said they wanted change
I hope that you remain the same
To show that this is not a game
Let's end this tragedy today
Now take my hand and we will run away
Down to this place that I know
How did this night become the enemy?
It's over, it's over, it's over
Lay down with me
Let me hold you, baby just breathe
This is ending
We will get through eventually
Said they wanted change
I hope that you remain the same
To show that this is not a game
We'll end this tragedy today
Now take my hand and we will run away
Down to this place that I know
How did this night become the enemy?
It's over, it's over, it's over
Take my hand and we will run away
Down to this place that I know
And did this night become the enemy?
It's over, it's over, it's over now
We won't be a part of
We won't be a part of this
We won't be a part of
We won't be a part of this
We won't be a part of
We won't be a part of this
We won't be a part of
We won't, we won't
Take my hand and we will run away
Down to this place that I know
How did this night become the enemy?
It's over, it's over, it's over
Now take my hand and we will run away
Down to this place that I know
How did this night become the enemy?
It's over, it's over, it's over
Take my hand and we will run away
Down to this place that I know
How did this night become the enemy?
It's over, it's over, it's over now
We won't be a part of
We won't be a part of this
We won't be a part of
We won't, we won't
------------------------------
I wish I could runaway right now... if only I had resources.
Saturday, November 15, 2008
Candles
The power lines went out
And I am all alone
But I don't really care at all
Not answering my phone
All the games you played
The promises you made
Couldn't finish what you started
Only darkness still remains
Lost sight
Couldn't see
When it was you and me
Blow the candles out
Looks like a solo tonight
I'm beginning to see the light
Blow the candles out
Looks like a solo tonight
But I think I'll be alright
Been black and blue before
There's no need to explain
I am not the jaded kind
Playback's such a waste
You're invisible
Invisible to me
My wish is coming true
Erase the memory of your face
Lost sight
Couldn't see
When it was you and me
Blow the candles out
Looks like a solo tonight
I'm beginning to see the light
Blow the candles out
Looks like a solo tonight
But I think I'll be alright
One day
You will wake up
With nothing but "you're sorrys"
And someday
You will get back
Everything you gave me
Blow the candles out
Looks like a solo tonight
I'm beginning to see the light
Blow the candles out
Looks like a solo tonight
But I think I'll be alright
---------------------------------
This whole week has been kind of grey. Hardly any sun, and full of cold air. I can't lie and say I hate it. But I'm starting to forget what sun looks like. I miss the way the sun hits my face.
Lately, I've been wondering about life. What else is new？As individuals, we are taught to make our own decisions, to take responsibility. Everything in life is in our control. When things don't go the way they're supposed to, are we at fault？ Or, is it fate? Is it possible to have both exist? Where is the line drawn? How do we know if it's one, and not the other? Oh the unanswered questions in life. A couple weeks ago, I was in the car with my dad, waiting for my mom to be done work. I asked my dad, "Are you at where you thought you would be when you were, let's say, 25?". Not to my surprise, he said, "No". I didn't really question him about it, but I was sure that he had bigger dreams than to have 3 kids and support a family for the rest of his life. It kinda made me wonder whether it's worth dreaming, only to have it shatter years later. But when we dream the impossible dream, are we setting ourselves up for the let down? Or are we setting ourselves for the invisible alternative of happiness? When we choose to go down a path that wasn't intended, it can only lead to opportunities that wouldn't have come with the 'right' path. So for now, I'm going to dream the impossible dream. Ask me in 10 years how it goes.
And I am all alone
But I don't really care at all
Not answering my phone
All the games you played
The promises you made
Couldn't finish what you started
Only darkness still remains
Lost sight
Couldn't see
When it was you and me
Blow the candles out
Looks like a solo tonight
I'm beginning to see the light
Blow the candles out
Looks like a solo tonight
But I think I'll be alright
Been black and blue before
There's no need to explain
I am not the jaded kind
Playback's such a waste
You're invisible
Invisible to me
My wish is coming true
Erase the memory of your face
Lost sight
Couldn't see
When it was you and me
Blow the candles out
Looks like a solo tonight
I'm beginning to see the light
Blow the candles out
Looks like a solo tonight
But I think I'll be alright
One day
You will wake up
With nothing but "you're sorrys"
And someday
You will get back
Everything you gave me
Blow the candles out
Looks like a solo tonight
I'm beginning to see the light
Blow the candles out
Looks like a solo tonight
But I think I'll be alright
---------------------------------
This whole week has been kind of grey. Hardly any sun, and full of cold air. I can't lie and say I hate it. But I'm starting to forget what sun looks like. I miss the way the sun hits my face.
Lately, I've been wondering about life. What else is new？As individuals, we are taught to make our own decisions, to take responsibility. Everything in life is in our control. When things don't go the way they're supposed to, are we at fault？ Or, is it fate? Is it possible to have both exist? Where is the line drawn? How do we know if it's one, and not the other? Oh the unanswered questions in life. A couple weeks ago, I was in the car with my dad, waiting for my mom to be done work. I asked my dad, "Are you at where you thought you would be when you were, let's say, 25?". Not to my surprise, he said, "No". I didn't really question him about it, but I was sure that he had bigger dreams than to have 3 kids and support a family for the rest of his life. It kinda made me wonder whether it's worth dreaming, only to have it shatter years later. But when we dream the impossible dream, are we setting ourselves up for the let down? Or are we setting ourselves for the invisible alternative of happiness? When we choose to go down a path that wasn't intended, it can only lead to opportunities that wouldn't have come with the 'right' path. So for now, I'm going to dream the impossible dream. Ask me in 10 years how it goes.
Friday, November 14, 2008
Wake Up
I'm going to ride this plane out of your life again.
I wish that I could stay but you argue.
More than this I wish you could've seen my face
In backseat staring out the window.
I'll do anything for you,
Kill anyone for you.
So leave yourself intact
'Cause I will be coming back.
In a phrase to cut these lips,
I love you.
The morning will come
In the press of every kiss
With your head upon my chest
Where I will annoy you
With every waking breath
Until you decide to wake up.
I've earned through hope and faith
The curves around your face
That I'm the one you'll hold forever.
If morning never comes for either one of us,
Then this I pray to you wherever.
I'll do anything for you.
This story is for you.
('Cause I'd do anything you want me to... for you.)
I'll do anything for you,
Kill anyone for you.
So leave yourself intact
'Cause I won't be coming back.
In a phrase to cut these lips,
I loved you.
The morning will come
In the press of every kiss
With your head upon my chest
Where I will annoy you
With every waking breath
Until you decide to wake up.
The morning will come
In the press of every kiss
With your head upon my chest
Where I will annoy you
With every waking breath
'Til you decide to wake up.
---------------------------------
Things are getting a little more intense each day I choose to do nothing... maybe I should start doing my work? Anyways, love is in 8 days. Translation: The Academy Is... in fucking 8 days! I am so excited. New songs, new fun, new people, and new adventures. For the first time in the fall/winter season, I'm going to be camping out with Jenicka to secure our spot in Bill's direct line of vision! It has to happen. Like seriously. Or serious ass kicking will occur. Don't say I warned you teenage hipsters. All my training has come to this moment (when I say 'training' I mean visualization of kicking ass xP). I have 'combat' boots for a reason.
I wish that I could stay but you argue.
More than this I wish you could've seen my face
In backseat staring out the window.
I'll do anything for you,
Kill anyone for you.
So leave yourself intact
'Cause I will be coming back.
In a phrase to cut these lips,
I love you.
The morning will come
In the press of every kiss
With your head upon my chest
Where I will annoy you
With every waking breath
Until you decide to wake up.
I've earned through hope and faith
The curves around your face
That I'm the one you'll hold forever.
If morning never comes for either one of us,
Then this I pray to you wherever.
I'll do anything for you.
This story is for you.
('Cause I'd do anything you want me to... for you.)
I'll do anything for you,
Kill anyone for you.
So leave yourself intact
'Cause I won't be coming back.
In a phrase to cut these lips,
I loved you.
The morning will come
In the press of every kiss
With your head upon my chest
Where I will annoy you
With every waking breath
Until you decide to wake up.
The morning will come
In the press of every kiss
With your head upon my chest
Where I will annoy you
With every waking breath
'Til you decide to wake up.
---------------------------------
Things are getting a little more intense each day I choose to do nothing... maybe I should start doing my work? Anyways, love is in 8 days. Translation: The Academy Is... in fucking 8 days! I am so excited. New songs, new fun, new people, and new adventures. For the first time in the fall/winter season, I'm going to be camping out with Jenicka to secure our spot in Bill's direct line of vision! It has to happen. Like seriously. Or serious ass kicking will occur. Don't say I warned you teenage hipsters. All my training has come to this moment (when I say 'training' I mean visualization of kicking ass xP). I have 'combat' boots for a reason.
Tuesday, November 11, 2008
Love Story
We were both young, when I first saw you.
I close my eyes and the flashback starts-
I'm standing there, on a balcony in summer air.
I see the lights; see the party, the ball gowns.
I see you make your way through the crowd-
You say hello, little did I know...
That you were Romeo, you were throwing pebbles-
And my daddy said, "Stay away from Juliet"-
And I was crying on the staircase-
begging you please don't go...
And I said...
Romeo take me somewhere, we can be alone.
I'll be waiting; all there's left to do is run.
You'll be the prince and I'll be the princess,
It's a love story, baby, just say yes.
So I sneak out to the garden to see you.
We keep quiet, because we're dead if they knew-
So close your eyes... escape this town for a little while.
Oh, Oh.
Cause you were Romeo - I was a scarlet letter,
And my daddy said, "Stay away from Juliet" -
but you were everything to me-
I was begging you, please don't go-
And I said...
Romeo take me somewhere, we can be alone.
I'll be waiting; all there's left to do is run.
You'll be the prince and I'll be the princess.
It's a love story, baby, just say yes-
Romeo save me, they're trying to tell me how to feel.
This love is difficult, but it's real.
Don't be afraid, we'll make it out of this mess.
It's a love story, baby, just say yes.
Oh, Oh.
I got tired of waiting.
Wondering if you were ever coming around.
My faith in you was fading-
When I met you on the outskirts of town.
And I said...
Romeo save me, I've been feeling so alone.
I keep waiting, for you but you never come.
Is this in my head, I don't know what to think-
He knelt to the ground and pulled out a ring and said...
Marry me Juliet, you'll never have to be alone.
I love you, and that's all I really know.
I talked to your dad -- go pick out a white dress
It's a love story, baby just say... yes.
Oh, Oh, Oh, Oh, Oh.
We were both young when I first saw you.
--------------------------------
One day.
I close my eyes and the flashback starts-
I'm standing there, on a balcony in summer air.
I see the lights; see the party, the ball gowns.
I see you make your way through the crowd-
You say hello, little did I know...
That you were Romeo, you were throwing pebbles-
And my daddy said, "Stay away from Juliet"-
And I was crying on the staircase-
begging you please don't go...
And I said...
Romeo take me somewhere, we can be alone.
I'll be waiting; all there's left to do is run.
You'll be the prince and I'll be the princess,
It's a love story, baby, just say yes.
So I sneak out to the garden to see you.
We keep quiet, because we're dead if they knew-
So close your eyes... escape this town for a little while.
Oh, Oh.
Cause you were Romeo - I was a scarlet letter,
And my daddy said, "Stay away from Juliet" -
but you were everything to me-
I was begging you, please don't go-
And I said...
Romeo take me somewhere, we can be alone.
I'll be waiting; all there's left to do is run.
You'll be the prince and I'll be the princess.
It's a love story, baby, just say yes-
Romeo save me, they're trying to tell me how to feel.
This love is difficult, but it's real.
Don't be afraid, we'll make it out of this mess.
It's a love story, baby, just say yes.
Oh, Oh.
I got tired of waiting.
Wondering if you were ever coming around.
My faith in you was fading-
When I met you on the outskirts of town.
And I said...
Romeo save me, I've been feeling so alone.
I keep waiting, for you but you never come.
Is this in my head, I don't know what to think-
He knelt to the ground and pulled out a ring and said...
Marry me Juliet, you'll never have to be alone.
I love you, and that's all I really know.
I talked to your dad -- go pick out a white dress
It's a love story, baby just say... yes.
Oh, Oh, Oh, Oh, Oh.
We were both young when I first saw you.
--------------------------------
One day.
That's What You Get
No sir, well I don't wanna be the blame, not anymore.
It's your turn, so take a seat we're settling the final score.
And why do we like to hurt so much?
I can't decide
You have made it harder just to go on
And why, all the possibilities where I was wrong
That's what you get when you let your heart win, whoa.
That's what you get when you let your heart win, whoa.
I drowned out all my sense with the sound of its beating.
And that's what you get when you let your heart win, whoa.
I wonder, how am I supposed to feel when you're not here.
'Cause I burned every bridge I ever built when you were here.
I still try holding onto silly things, I never learn.
Oh why, all the possibilities I'm sure you've heard.
That's what you get when you let your heart win, whoa.
That's what you get when you let your heart win, whoa.
I drowned out all my sense with the sound of its beating (beating)
And that's what you get when you let your heart win, whoa.
Pain make your way to me, to me.
And I'll always be just so inviting.
If I ever start to think straight,
This heart will start a riot in me,
Let's start, start, hey!
Why do we like to hurt so much?
Oh why do we like to hurt so much?
That's what you get when you let your heart win!
Whoa.
That's what you get when you let your heart win, whoa.
That's what you get when you let your heart win, whoa.
Now I can't trust myself with anything but this,
And that's what you get when you let your heart win, whoa.
-----------------------------
Where perfect communication doesn't exist, chaos does. Well, not chaos per-se, but it makes things way too difficult than it needs to be.
Trying to keep my life in balance, all I can do is try to use my time wisely. But I find it too easy to fall back to a routine that contradicts what I want to be.
Love.
It's your turn, so take a seat we're settling the final score.
And why do we like to hurt so much?
I can't decide
You have made it harder just to go on
And why, all the possibilities where I was wrong
That's what you get when you let your heart win, whoa.
That's what you get when you let your heart win, whoa.
I drowned out all my sense with the sound of its beating.
And that's what you get when you let your heart win, whoa.
I wonder, how am I supposed to feel when you're not here.
'Cause I burned every bridge I ever built when you were here.
I still try holding onto silly things, I never learn.
Oh why, all the possibilities I'm sure you've heard.
That's what you get when you let your heart win, whoa.
That's what you get when you let your heart win, whoa.
I drowned out all my sense with the sound of its beating (beating)
And that's what you get when you let your heart win, whoa.
Pain make your way to me, to me.
And I'll always be just so inviting.
If I ever start to think straight,
This heart will start a riot in me,
Let's start, start, hey!
Why do we like to hurt so much?
Oh why do we like to hurt so much?
That's what you get when you let your heart win!
Whoa.
That's what you get when you let your heart win, whoa.
That's what you get when you let your heart win, whoa.
Now I can't trust myself with anything but this,
And that's what you get when you let your heart win, whoa.
-----------------------------
Where perfect communication doesn't exist, chaos does. Well, not chaos per-se, but it makes things way too difficult than it needs to be.
Trying to keep my life in balance, all I can do is try to use my time wisely. But I find it too easy to fall back to a routine that contradicts what I want to be.
Love.
Saturday, November 8, 2008
This Is Our Town
Dear Bradentown
You have been good to me
You've kept your word
And got me through these years
All I ask
Is that you'll be there
When I return
From Anna's Isle
To Lakewoods' fields
This is our town
This is you were meant to be
This is our town
Where our roots have grown so deep
This is our town
This is where we're meant to be
This is our town
We'll keep coming back because...
Dear Bradentown
As the city sleeps tonight
You found us hiding out
Under parking garage lights
And you know
You know you'll find us here
When we return
This is our town
This is our town
This is our town
(What are we running for?)
This is our town
(What are we running for?)
This is our town
(This is our town)
Dear Bradentown
As I gently close my eyes
I hear you whisper softly
As we continue our goodbyes
And all I ask
Is that you'll be there
When I return
------------------------------
Fuck this shit.
I am slightly irrational.
You have been good to me
You've kept your word
And got me through these years
All I ask
Is that you'll be there
When I return
From Anna's Isle
To Lakewoods' fields
This is our town
This is you were meant to be
This is our town
Where our roots have grown so deep
This is our town
This is where we're meant to be
This is our town
We'll keep coming back because...
Dear Bradentown
As the city sleeps tonight
You found us hiding out
Under parking garage lights
And you know
You know you'll find us here
When we return
This is our town
This is our town
This is our town
(What are we running for?)
This is our town
(What are we running for?)
This is our town
(This is our town)
Dear Bradentown
As I gently close my eyes
I hear you whisper softly
As we continue our goodbyes
And all I ask
Is that you'll be there
When I return
------------------------------
Fuck this shit.
I am slightly irrational.
Thursday, November 6, 2008
All Again For You
I couldn't sleep last night
I walked alone
On the beach
Where we always used to go
When we couldn't hook up at home
I thought of you
And the time we jumped the fence
Pool-side, stripped down
We dove right in
And the cops chased us again
When you were mine
You know
We had it all in front of us
You were the one
I was in love
But you always hurt
the one you lost
I couldn't get enough
You were everything
That's bad for me
Make no apologies
I'm crushed...
Black and blue
But you know
I'd do it all again for you
Today, dressed up
In designer drugs
Dedicated to the one
I'll always love
The one who really messed me up
I let you take the wheel
And the driver's seat
Strapped in
So you get the best of me
Now what's left are the memories
When you were mine
You know
We had it all in front of us
You were the one
I was in love
But you always hurt
The one you lost
I couldn't get enough
You were everything
That's bad for me
Make no apologies
I'm crushed...
Black and blue
But you know
I'd do it all again for you
I am standing in the ocean rain
Rough and ready
For your deadly game
I've got nowhere else to go
We had it all in front of us
You were the one
I was in love
But you always hurt
The one you lost
I couldn't get enough
You were everything
That's bad for me
Make no apologies
I'm crushed...
Black and blue
But you know
I'd do it all again for you
(You know I'd do it all again)
(I swear I'd do it all again)
---------------------------------
Things are shaping up to be pretty odd.
---------------------------------
24 days until hate. 18 days until fun. 15 days until love.
I can't wait for the Christmas season. This Christmas will be different. It will be full of love, and not jealously. Only smiles and no tears. Embrace the ones you have, and love until there's no tomorrow. Full of sweet scents of holiday and a sight that comes only once a year, this Christmas will be different.
Top 5 Christmas Movies:
1. Love Actually
2. The Polar Express
3. The Family Stone
4. Home Alone: Lost in New York
5. Bridget Jone's Diary
Top 5 Christmas Songs:
1. All I Want For Christmas - Mariah Carey
2. My Only Wish - Britney Spears
3. Merry Christmas, Happy Holidays - Nsync
4. The First Noel - Josh Groban & Faith Hill
5. Angels We Have Heard On High - Josh Groban & Brian McKnight.
I walked alone
On the beach
Where we always used to go
When we couldn't hook up at home
I thought of you
And the time we jumped the fence
Pool-side, stripped down
We dove right in
And the cops chased us again
When you were mine
You know
We had it all in front of us
You were the one
I was in love
But you always hurt
the one you lost
I couldn't get enough
You were everything
That's bad for me
Make no apologies
I'm crushed...
Black and blue
But you know
I'd do it all again for you
Today, dressed up
In designer drugs
Dedicated to the one
I'll always love
The one who really messed me up
I let you take the wheel
And the driver's seat
Strapped in
So you get the best of me
Now what's left are the memories
When you were mine
You know
We had it all in front of us
You were the one
I was in love
But you always hurt
The one you lost
I couldn't get enough
You were everything
That's bad for me
Make no apologies
I'm crushed...
Black and blue
But you know
I'd do it all again for you
I am standing in the ocean rain
Rough and ready
For your deadly game
I've got nowhere else to go
We had it all in front of us
You were the one
I was in love
But you always hurt
The one you lost
I couldn't get enough
You were everything
That's bad for me
Make no apologies
I'm crushed...
Black and blue
But you know
I'd do it all again for you
(You know I'd do it all again)
(I swear I'd do it all again)
---------------------------------
Things are shaping up to be pretty odd.
---------------------------------
24 days until hate. 18 days until fun. 15 days until love.
I can't wait for the Christmas season. This Christmas will be different. It will be full of love, and not jealously. Only smiles and no tears. Embrace the ones you have, and love until there's no tomorrow. Full of sweet scents of holiday and a sight that comes only once a year, this Christmas will be different.
Top 5 Christmas Movies:
1. Love Actually
2. The Polar Express
3. The Family Stone
4. Home Alone: Lost in New York
5. Bridget Jone's Diary
Top 5 Christmas Songs:
1. All I Want For Christmas - Mariah Carey
2. My Only Wish - Britney Spears
3. Merry Christmas, Happy Holidays - Nsync
4. The First Noel - Josh Groban & Faith Hill
5. Angels We Have Heard On High - Josh Groban & Brian McKnight.
Friday, October 31, 2008
Check Yes Juliet
Check yes Juliet
Are you with me?
Rain is falling down on the sidewalk
I won't go until you come outside.
Check yes Juliet
Kill the limbo
I'll keep tossing rocks at your window
There's no turning back for us tonight.
Lace up your shoes
Eh Oh Eh Ohhh
Here's how we do:
Run, baby, run
Don't ever look back.
They'll tear us apart
If you give them the chance.
Don't sell your heart.
Don't say we're not meant to be.
Run, baby, run.
Forever will be
You and me.
Check yes Juliet
I'll be waiting
Wishing, wanting
Yours for the taking.
Just sneak out
And don't tell a soul goodbye.
Check yes Juliet
Here's the countdown
3... 2... 1... now fall in my arms now
They can change the locks
Don't let them change your mind
Lace up your shoes
Eh Oh Eh Ohhh
Here's how we do
Run, baby, run
Don't ever look back
They'll tear us apart
If you give them the chance
Don't sell your heart
Don't say we're not meant to be
Run baby run
Forever will be
You and me
We're flying through the night
We're flying through the night
Way up high,
The view from here is getting better with
You by my side
Run baby run
Don't ever look back
They'll tear us apart
If you give them the chance
Don't sell your heart
Don't say we're not meant to be
Run baby run
Forever will be...
Run baby run
Don't ever look back
They'll tear us apart
If you give them the chance
Don't sell your heart
Don't say we're not meant to be
Run baby run
Forever will be
You and me
You and me
You and me
--------------------------
Let me ask you a question, what is your limit? What would someone have to do to make you walk out of their lives?
Are you with me?
Rain is falling down on the sidewalk
I won't go until you come outside.
Check yes Juliet
Kill the limbo
I'll keep tossing rocks at your window
There's no turning back for us tonight.
Lace up your shoes
Eh Oh Eh Ohhh
Here's how we do:
Run, baby, run
Don't ever look back.
They'll tear us apart
If you give them the chance.
Don't sell your heart.
Don't say we're not meant to be.
Run, baby, run.
Forever will be
You and me.
Check yes Juliet
I'll be waiting
Wishing, wanting
Yours for the taking.
Just sneak out
And don't tell a soul goodbye.
Check yes Juliet
Here's the countdown
3... 2... 1... now fall in my arms now
They can change the locks
Don't let them change your mind
Lace up your shoes
Eh Oh Eh Ohhh
Here's how we do
Run, baby, run
Don't ever look back
They'll tear us apart
If you give them the chance
Don't sell your heart
Don't say we're not meant to be
Run baby run
Forever will be
You and me
We're flying through the night
We're flying through the night
Way up high,
The view from here is getting better with
You by my side
Run baby run
Don't ever look back
They'll tear us apart
If you give them the chance
Don't sell your heart
Don't say we're not meant to be
Run baby run
Forever will be...
Run baby run
Don't ever look back
They'll tear us apart
If you give them the chance
Don't sell your heart
Don't say we're not meant to be
Run baby run
Forever will be
You and me
You and me
You and me
--------------------------
Let me ask you a question, what is your limit? What would someone have to do to make you walk out of their lives?
Tuesday, October 28, 2008
Catastrophe
Wake up your a drama queen,
Carry on like your supposed to be
Get away, hurry up, come on, get away
How long have you been in your bedroom?
It's been three days straight with your sheets and your pillow
The clock on the walls a reminder,
of my father, and all his integrity
I know that I shouldn't let it get to me
But it does and who am I kidding?
A dead end job and a lack of family
This town really gets to me
Wake up you're a drama queen
Carry on like your supposed to be
Get away, hurry up, come on
Get away, gotta get up and go
Break out from the drama scene
Stick around, it'll bury me
Get away, hurry up, come on
This is becoming a catastrophe
I made up my mind,
Took time to think of everything I oughta do
It may be hard but I'm trying hard to comprehend,
Where I quit and where I should begin
I know that I shouldn't let it get to me
But it does and who am I kidding?
A dead end job and a lack of family
This town really gets to me
Wake up you're a drama queen
Carry on like your supposed to be
Get away, hurry up, come on
Get away, gotta get up and go
Break out from the drama scene
Stick around, it'll bury me
Get away, hurry up, come on
This is becoming a catastrophe
This is becoming a catastrophe
You're a fake, a product of the world
You're an average mistake, so commonly made
I made up my mind, (You're a fake)
Took time to think of everything I oughta do
(a product of the world)
It may be hard but I'll try to comprehend (an average mistake)
It may be hard (so commonly made)
I know that I shouldn't let it get to me
But it does and who am I kidding?
Wake up your a drama queen
Carry on like your supposed to be
Get away, hurry up, come on
Get away, gotta get up and go
Break out from the drama scene
Stick around, it'll bury me
Get away, hurry up, come on
This is becoming a catastrophe
You're a fake, a product of the world
(this is becoming a catastrophe)
You're an average mistake,
(this is becoming a catastrophe)
So commonly made.
--------------------------
Left alone, your voice once gave me the comfort to continue.
Once again, your lies still give me the heartache to continue.
Carry on like your supposed to be
Get away, hurry up, come on, get away
How long have you been in your bedroom?
It's been three days straight with your sheets and your pillow
The clock on the walls a reminder,
of my father, and all his integrity
I know that I shouldn't let it get to me
But it does and who am I kidding?
A dead end job and a lack of family
This town really gets to me
Wake up you're a drama queen
Carry on like your supposed to be
Get away, hurry up, come on
Get away, gotta get up and go
Break out from the drama scene
Stick around, it'll bury me
Get away, hurry up, come on
This is becoming a catastrophe
I made up my mind,
Took time to think of everything I oughta do
It may be hard but I'm trying hard to comprehend,
Where I quit and where I should begin
I know that I shouldn't let it get to me
But it does and who am I kidding?
A dead end job and a lack of family
This town really gets to me
Wake up you're a drama queen
Carry on like your supposed to be
Get away, hurry up, come on
Get away, gotta get up and go
Break out from the drama scene
Stick around, it'll bury me
Get away, hurry up, come on
This is becoming a catastrophe
This is becoming a catastrophe
You're a fake, a product of the world
You're an average mistake, so commonly made
I made up my mind, (You're a fake)
Took time to think of everything I oughta do
(a product of the world)
It may be hard but I'll try to comprehend (an average mistake)
It may be hard (so commonly made)
I know that I shouldn't let it get to me
But it does and who am I kidding?
Wake up your a drama queen
Carry on like your supposed to be
Get away, hurry up, come on
Get away, gotta get up and go
Break out from the drama scene
Stick around, it'll bury me
Get away, hurry up, come on
This is becoming a catastrophe
You're a fake, a product of the world
(this is becoming a catastrophe)
You're an average mistake,
(this is becoming a catastrophe)
So commonly made.
--------------------------
Left alone, your voice once gave me the comfort to continue.
Once again, your lies still give me the heartache to continue.
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