Wasted

Standing at the back door
She tried to make it fast
One tear hit the hard wood
It fell like broken glass
She said sometimes love slips away
And you just can't get it back
Let's face it

For one split second
She almost turned around
But that would be like pouring rain drops
Back into a cloud
So she took another step and said
I see the way out and I'm gonna' take it

I don't wanna spend my life jaded
Waiting to wake up one day and find
That I've let all these years go by
Wasted

Another glass of whiskey but it still don't kill the pain
So he stumbles to the sink and pours it down the drain
He says it's time to be a man and stop living for yesterday
Gotta face it.

Cause I don't wanna spend my life jaded
Waiting to wake up one day and find
That I've let all these years go by
Wasted

Oh I don't wanna keep on wishing, missing
The still of the morning, the color of the night
I ain't spending no more time
Wasted

She kept drivin' along
Till the moon and the sun were floating side-by-side
He looked in the mirror and his eyes were clear
For the first time in a while

Hey, yeah,
Oh, I don't wanna spend my life jaded
Waiting to wake up one day and find
That I've let all these years go by
Wasted

Oh I don't wanna keep on wishing, missing
The still of the morning, the color of the night
I ain't spending no more time
Wasted

Oh, I don't wanna spend my life jaded
Waiting to wake up one day and find
That I've let all these years go by
Wasted

Yeah, yeah
Oh I don't wanna keep on wishing, missing
The still of the morning, the color of the night
I ain't spending no more time
Wasted

-----------------------------

It's been quite a while since I've last written. Not much has happened. As mentioned before, my life is pretty dull. All I can do is try to embrace what life is or isn't throwing at me.

As you all know, I've been taking a summer class this semester. Psychology of Immigration. Fun times, right? Haha, not really. But anyways, my prof has activities that she makes us do activities in small groups. From this, I met this Asian guy. Kinda nerdy. After a couple days, we were messaging each other through Facebook, MSN... and talking in class. I don't think I like him, like him. But conversation is really easy, which doesn't come often with me and boys. It's funny because people always start off in the "friend zone" (except for a couple of people). But who knows. In this process, I'm actually learning a lot about myself and what I want. I know that I don't want to be tied down exactly to a boy at this moment, despite how much I want to feel what it's like to be. I feel like I still need to decide once and for all exactly what I want.

No matter what, I will always have some sort of standard. Every girl has to have standards. Not too high, not too low. I have to be legitimately attracted to the guy, and be able to have a decent conversation to a degree. It cannot be forced. Guys should definitely re-evaluate their approaches. I want to be the simple girl so badly, but I am constantly learning how complicated I always will be.

One thing to note is how girls love being chased, and how guys love the chase. I for one, love being chased. But chased too much is bad, and being chased too little leads me to believe that he's not trying hard enough. I can see why I, or girls in general, are somewhat complicated. Where is that fine line? On the other hand, I somehow like doing a bit of chasing. In my books, chasing is pretty much me trying to hold conversations and pining over a guy. But, when in that rare instance that those feelings are returned, I lose major interest. What the hell? I think that I would still be attracted to this guy, but not be as interested as to pursuing a full-on relationship. I end up letting things fizzle out and die off.

Anyways, this beach thing has been on hiatus for quite a while and hopefully it's this week. I was actually counting on this beach thing to get to know this guy who've I've developed a giant instant crush on when I went to Wonderland at the end of June. Because of the long ass hiatus, my crush has fizzled. I guess I lost interest? Or naturally died off on its own by not being watered enough. Because so much time has gone by, my giant instant crush just ended up being more insignificant than I wanted it to be. But hey, that's life. Either way, I hope that beach thing is this week so I have some time in the sun before summer ends.