Standing at the back door
She tried to make it fast
One tear hit the hard wood
It fell like broken glass
She said sometimes love slips away
And you just can't get it back
Let's face it
For one split second
She almost turned around
But that would be like pouring rain drops
Back into a cloud
So she took another step and said
I see the way out and I'm gonna' take it
I don't wanna spend my life jaded
Waiting to wake up one day and find
That I've let all these years go by
Wasted
Another glass of whiskey but it still don't kill the pain
So he stumbles to the sink and pours it down the drain
He says it's time to be a man and stop living for yesterday
Gotta face it.
Cause I don't wanna spend my life jaded
Waiting to wake up one day and find
That I've let all these years go by
Wasted
Oh I don't wanna keep on wishing, missing
The still of the morning, the color of the night
I ain't spending no more time
Wasted
She kept drivin' along
Till the moon and the sun were floating side-by-side
He looked in the mirror and his eyes were clear
For the first time in a while
Hey, yeah,
Oh, I don't wanna spend my life jaded
Waiting to wake up one day and find
That I've let all these years go by
Wasted
Oh I don't wanna keep on wishing, missing
The still of the morning, the color of the night
I ain't spending no more time
Wasted
Oh, I don't wanna spend my life jaded
Waiting to wake up one day and find
That I've let all these years go by
Wasted
Yeah, yeah
Oh I don't wanna keep on wishing, missing
The still of the morning, the color of the night
I ain't spending no more time
Wasted
-----------------------------
It's been quite a while since I've last written. Not much has happened. As mentioned before, my life is pretty dull. All I can do is try to embrace what life is or isn't throwing at me.
As you all know, I've been taking a summer class this semester. Psychology of Immigration. Fun times, right? Haha, not really. But anyways, my prof has activities that she makes us do activities in small groups. From this, I met this Asian guy. Kinda nerdy. After a couple days, we were messaging each other through Facebook, MSN... and talking in class. I don't think I like him, like him. But conversation is really easy, which doesn't come often with me and boys. It's funny because people always start off in the "friend zone" (except for a couple of people). But who knows. In this process, I'm actually learning a lot about myself and what I want. I know that I don't want to be tied down exactly to a boy at this moment, despite how much I want to feel what it's like to be. I feel like I still need to decide once and for all exactly what I want.
No matter what, I will always have some sort of standard. Every girl has to have standards. Not too high, not too low. I have to be legitimately attracted to the guy, and be able to have a decent conversation to a degree. It cannot be forced. Guys should definitely re-evaluate their approaches. I want to be the simple girl so badly, but I am constantly learning how complicated I always will be.
One thing to note is how girls love being chased, and how guys love the chase. I for one, love being chased. But chased too much is bad, and being chased too little leads me to believe that he's not trying hard enough. I can see why I, or girls in general, are somewhat complicated. Where is that fine line? On the other hand, I somehow like doing a bit of chasing. In my books, chasing is pretty much me trying to hold conversations and pining over a guy. But, when in that rare instance that those feelings are returned, I lose major interest. What the hell? I think that I would still be attracted to this guy, but not be as interested as to pursuing a full-on relationship. I end up letting things fizzle out and die off.
Anyways, this beach thing has been on hiatus for quite a while and hopefully it's this week. I was actually counting on this beach thing to get to know this guy who've I've developed a giant instant crush on when I went to Wonderland at the end of June. Because of the long ass hiatus, my crush has fizzled. I guess I lost interest? Or naturally died off on its own by not being watered enough. Because so much time has gone by, my giant instant crush just ended up being more insignificant than I wanted it to be. But hey, that's life. Either way, I hope that beach thing is this week so I have some time in the sun before summer ends.
Showing posts with label Friendship. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Friendship. Show all posts
Monday, August 3, 2009
Tuesday, July 14, 2009
Misery
I cry myself to sleep again tonight
'Cause I cannot hold you tight
I wish I could see you again tomorrow
To take all this sorrow, sorrow
I'm hollow
When I touch you
Can you feel it
When I need you
Can you give it
When I look in your eyes
Can you see me
When I fall, fall
Will you catch me, catch me, catch me
Misery is what I feel
When you're not around
So I can't heal
Misery is what I feel
Is what I feel
Is what I feel
These tears on my face
Are for you
I wish that I could hold you
Touch you, feel you
My heart is bleeding Can't you see
I wish that you could hold me
Touch me, feel me
Misery is what I feel
When you're not around
So I can't heal
Misery is what I feel
Is what I feel
Is what I feel
Misery is what I feel
When you're not around
So I can't heal
Misery is what I feel
Is what I feel
Is what I feel
-------------------------------
I really don't know how I got to this place. Things that are new and exciting are meant to end. But things that start off wrong will end only badly. I think I might take the risk.
'Cause I cannot hold you tight
I wish I could see you again tomorrow
To take all this sorrow, sorrow
I'm hollow
When I touch you
Can you feel it
When I need you
Can you give it
When I look in your eyes
Can you see me
When I fall, fall
Will you catch me, catch me, catch me
Misery is what I feel
When you're not around
So I can't heal
Misery is what I feel
Is what I feel
Is what I feel
These tears on my face
Are for you
I wish that I could hold you
Touch you, feel you
My heart is bleeding Can't you see
I wish that you could hold me
Touch me, feel me
Misery is what I feel
When you're not around
So I can't heal
Misery is what I feel
Is what I feel
Is what I feel
Misery is what I feel
When you're not around
So I can't heal
Misery is what I feel
Is what I feel
Is what I feel
-------------------------------
I really don't know how I got to this place. Things that are new and exciting are meant to end. But things that start off wrong will end only badly. I think I might take the risk.
Thursday, May 21, 2009
I Will Remember You
Eight years later
Time goes by fast
Got my memories
And they will last
I try to keep it simple
'Cause I hate goodbyes
And I try to keep it simple
By telling myself that.
I... I will remember you
and all of the things
that we've gone through
There is so much I can say
The words get in the way
So were not together
I will remember you
I will remember… you
We’re a picture
In my mind
When I want to find you
I just close my eyes
You’ll never be that far from me
So don’t say goodbye 'cause
You’ll never be that far from me
I’m telling myself
I… I will remember you
And all of the things that we’ve gone through
There is so much I can say
The words get in the way
So were not together
I will remember… you
You were there when I needed a friend
Thank you thank you
I never told you how much that meant
Gotta thank you thank you
I… I will remember you
And all of the things that we’ve gone through
There is so much I can say
The words get in the way
So
I… I will remember you
And all of the things that we’ve gone through
There is so much I can say
The words get in the way
We’re not together
I will remember you
We’re not together
I will remember you
I will remember… you
--------------------------
Today, I went out with an old friend, former crush. After two years of not speaking to each other, it just seemed a bit random. Let me explain some back story...
We met in first year, during Frosh. Fun times, I say. We were on different teams, but somehow, people on my team knew people on other teams and we all just became friends. Anyways, on the final day of Frosh, we had a boat cruise, where all the leaders and first-year students just got to hang back and relax before school started. Anyways, this whole boat thing was kinda boring at first. I was 18, and not a drinker yet/couldn't buy alcohol. All the leaders and stuff were getting wasted pretty much. Anyways, this semi-drunk girl was totally into my friend (being all playful touchy feely) and he was playing along. He pretended to be drunk for her entertainment and when she wasn't looking, he would look my way and mouth, "I'm not drunk." From then on, whenever this other girl wasn't looking, we just talked about random things, and when she came over, he would tell her to get another drink and we would continue talking. It was kind of fun. Anyways, we chatted up the night and became friends afterwards. Sometime after, we began to hang out pretty often, seeing movies like every Wednesday at one point. By this time, I totally had a giant crush on this guy. Anyways, one day, we had a conversation about having crushes on each other at the beginning when we first met. We then planned our next hang-out. Anyways, the day comes. It was around Christmas and I had made plans to go to a Christmas dinner with some university friends and meet up with this guy after. During the dinner, he texts me that he couldn't make it and was sorry. I don't remember the reason, but I just brushed it off because we'd be hanging out so often. After a couple weeks, I find out that he is now in a relationship with some other girl and he disappears from all forms of social networking. He had let his girlfriend tell him to go offline of everything possible, Facebook, MSN, etc. From here on, I hadn't talked to this guy for about 2 years. I can't remember if I was angry at all, but I knew that couldn't let myself get caught up in this.
Now present day story, two years later...
Not too long ago, my friend reappears on Facebook, MSN, etc. We started talking to each other and he informs me that he and his girlfriend broke up. I understand that Facebook is trouble when it comes to girlfriends and relationships, but I would never tell another person that they had to pretty much drop off the face of the Earth and only spend time with me... that's crazy. Anyways, we started talking like we used to, and after my update on Facebook, he suggested that we see a sappy movie. I thought it was kind of random, but things are cool now, that it seemed not normal not to. Anyways, we saw "Ghosts of Girlfriend's Past". The movie was ok, but I enjoy these cheesy, predictable movies. After the movie, he suggested that we just sit at Dundas Square because the day was so nice and we didn't have anywhere to go afterwards. We spent the time there just catching up and talking about plans for summer. I again, have no plans. Haha. We talked about what happened the last time we went out. So we were trying to figure out what movie we watched last, pretty much what were the last things we told each other (He remembered that I was excited to see The Academy Is... and Cobra in Buffalo, long time eh?). Anyways, he ended up telling me that the reason he wanted to take me out for a movie is to apologize for how he left things. Not that we were in any sort of "relationship", but that we were close and he disappeared on me. He said that he kept replaying our last conversation and it didn't sit right with him all this time. All I could say was, "No worries", because it was so long ago that it doesn't even matter now since he's "alive" now. It was just very sweet that even though this happened two years ago, he still apologized for it. And he promised me that he wouldn't "die" again. So, hopefully, we'll somehow get as close as we once were.
Time goes by fast
Got my memories
And they will last
I try to keep it simple
'Cause I hate goodbyes
And I try to keep it simple
By telling myself that.
I... I will remember you
and all of the things
that we've gone through
There is so much I can say
The words get in the way
So were not together
I will remember you
I will remember… you
We’re a picture
In my mind
When I want to find you
I just close my eyes
You’ll never be that far from me
So don’t say goodbye 'cause
You’ll never be that far from me
I’m telling myself
I… I will remember you
And all of the things that we’ve gone through
There is so much I can say
The words get in the way
So were not together
I will remember… you
You were there when I needed a friend
Thank you thank you
I never told you how much that meant
Gotta thank you thank you
I… I will remember you
And all of the things that we’ve gone through
There is so much I can say
The words get in the way
So
I… I will remember you
And all of the things that we’ve gone through
There is so much I can say
The words get in the way
We’re not together
I will remember you
We’re not together
I will remember you
I will remember… you
--------------------------
Today, I went out with an old friend, former crush. After two years of not speaking to each other, it just seemed a bit random. Let me explain some back story...
We met in first year, during Frosh. Fun times, I say. We were on different teams, but somehow, people on my team knew people on other teams and we all just became friends. Anyways, on the final day of Frosh, we had a boat cruise, where all the leaders and first-year students just got to hang back and relax before school started. Anyways, this whole boat thing was kinda boring at first. I was 18, and not a drinker yet/couldn't buy alcohol. All the leaders and stuff were getting wasted pretty much. Anyways, this semi-drunk girl was totally into my friend (being all playful touchy feely) and he was playing along. He pretended to be drunk for her entertainment and when she wasn't looking, he would look my way and mouth, "I'm not drunk." From then on, whenever this other girl wasn't looking, we just talked about random things, and when she came over, he would tell her to get another drink and we would continue talking. It was kind of fun. Anyways, we chatted up the night and became friends afterwards. Sometime after, we began to hang out pretty often, seeing movies like every Wednesday at one point. By this time, I totally had a giant crush on this guy. Anyways, one day, we had a conversation about having crushes on each other at the beginning when we first met. We then planned our next hang-out. Anyways, the day comes. It was around Christmas and I had made plans to go to a Christmas dinner with some university friends and meet up with this guy after. During the dinner, he texts me that he couldn't make it and was sorry. I don't remember the reason, but I just brushed it off because we'd be hanging out so often. After a couple weeks, I find out that he is now in a relationship with some other girl and he disappears from all forms of social networking. He had let his girlfriend tell him to go offline of everything possible, Facebook, MSN, etc. From here on, I hadn't talked to this guy for about 2 years. I can't remember if I was angry at all, but I knew that couldn't let myself get caught up in this.
Now present day story, two years later...
Not too long ago, my friend reappears on Facebook, MSN, etc. We started talking to each other and he informs me that he and his girlfriend broke up. I understand that Facebook is trouble when it comes to girlfriends and relationships, but I would never tell another person that they had to pretty much drop off the face of the Earth and only spend time with me... that's crazy. Anyways, we started talking like we used to, and after my update on Facebook, he suggested that we see a sappy movie. I thought it was kind of random, but things are cool now, that it seemed not normal not to. Anyways, we saw "Ghosts of Girlfriend's Past". The movie was ok, but I enjoy these cheesy, predictable movies. After the movie, he suggested that we just sit at Dundas Square because the day was so nice and we didn't have anywhere to go afterwards. We spent the time there just catching up and talking about plans for summer. I again, have no plans. Haha. We talked about what happened the last time we went out. So we were trying to figure out what movie we watched last, pretty much what were the last things we told each other (He remembered that I was excited to see The Academy Is... and Cobra in Buffalo, long time eh?). Anyways, he ended up telling me that the reason he wanted to take me out for a movie is to apologize for how he left things. Not that we were in any sort of "relationship", but that we were close and he disappeared on me. He said that he kept replaying our last conversation and it didn't sit right with him all this time. All I could say was, "No worries", because it was so long ago that it doesn't even matter now since he's "alive" now. It was just very sweet that even though this happened two years ago, he still apologized for it. And he promised me that he wouldn't "die" again. So, hopefully, we'll somehow get as close as we once were.
Saturday, November 8, 2008
This Is Our Town
Dear Bradentown
You have been good to me
You've kept your word
And got me through these years
All I ask
Is that you'll be there
When I return
From Anna's Isle
To Lakewoods' fields
This is our town
This is you were meant to be
This is our town
Where our roots have grown so deep
This is our town
This is where we're meant to be
This is our town
We'll keep coming back because...
Dear Bradentown
As the city sleeps tonight
You found us hiding out
Under parking garage lights
And you know
You know you'll find us here
When we return
This is our town
This is our town
This is our town
(What are we running for?)
This is our town
(What are we running for?)
This is our town
(This is our town)
Dear Bradentown
As I gently close my eyes
I hear you whisper softly
As we continue our goodbyes
And all I ask
Is that you'll be there
When I return
------------------------------
Fuck this shit.
I am slightly irrational.
You have been good to me
You've kept your word
And got me through these years
All I ask
Is that you'll be there
When I return
From Anna's Isle
To Lakewoods' fields
This is our town
This is you were meant to be
This is our town
Where our roots have grown so deep
This is our town
This is where we're meant to be
This is our town
We'll keep coming back because...
Dear Bradentown
As the city sleeps tonight
You found us hiding out
Under parking garage lights
And you know
You know you'll find us here
When we return
This is our town
This is our town
This is our town
(What are we running for?)
This is our town
(What are we running for?)
This is our town
(This is our town)
Dear Bradentown
As I gently close my eyes
I hear you whisper softly
As we continue our goodbyes
And all I ask
Is that you'll be there
When I return
------------------------------
Fuck this shit.
I am slightly irrational.
Sunday, August 24, 2008
American Love
You see I’ve got this American love
A brand new planet in the solar system
I kiss her neck, but I just can’t look her in the eye
You leave for college at the turn of autumn
I spent the winter diving to the bottom
I kiss your neck, but I just can’t look you in the eye
Yeah
Big hearts, big hearts, big hearts are for breaking (big hearts are breaking)
Big hearts, big hearts, big hearts are for breaking yeah
You see I’ve got this critical conscience
A brand new black hole in the solar system
I dig my grave, but can't stand to step inside
When they find out (when they find out)
They'll sound every siren, break the door down
To find a baby crying
You thought I knew that it's just not right to tell a lie
Yeah
Big hearts, big hearts, big hearts are for breaking (big hearts are breaking) oooh
Big hearts, big hearts, big hearts are for breaking yeah
Now there’s no turning back
Yeah my face of the sweat we share
There’s no where to run, we're so unprepared
It’s a new heart attack
Brand new breaks on my back to there
It’s sung, say a word, we might find us there
You see I’ve got this American love
A hidden planet in the solar system
Keep your eyes shut, I can't stand to say goodbye
Big hearts, big hearts, big hearts are for breaking (big hearts are breaking) oooh
Big hearts, big hearts, big hearts are for breaking yeah (big hearts are for breaking)
---------------------------------
Note: I could not find lyrics to this song, so I spent a good 20 minutes trying to figure the lyrics out. If it doesn't make sense, apologies in advance for Andrew being unable to articulate. If you happen to have found the lyrics, do not tell me because I will be sad.
----------------------------------
The past 2 days have been amazing as I was able to share it with the best 3 people in my life. With time and a little alcohol, I can say I have become closer to each and every one of them. It's crazy to even say that being friends for so long, we are able to still learn something new about each other. It just makes it a little harder to say goodbye for now.
PS. The scarf has been christened (and is making its way to bring us closer).
PPS. I'm wearing the scarf as I write.
PPPS. Something has been added to the scarf already!
----------------------------------
It's just surprising how things work out. It's impossible to avoid the inevitable. But when your intuition kicks in and red flags pop, what do you do? Do you, A, continue and pretend it doesn't exist, and that you're crazy for thinking it? Or B, be a realist and question 'why'? What would you really do? In these types of situations, it's hard to even admit that there is a possibility that things might not work out. But your heart tells you to believe and that it's not over until it's over. But your head tells you to get out now, it's going to hurt. Do you follow your heart, or your head? Once the inevitable happens, you feel like a fool for believing, a fool to think that things can work out. Note to self: Listen to your fucking head because it hurts.
A brand new planet in the solar system
I kiss her neck, but I just can’t look her in the eye
You leave for college at the turn of autumn
I spent the winter diving to the bottom
I kiss your neck, but I just can’t look you in the eye
Yeah
Big hearts, big hearts, big hearts are for breaking (big hearts are breaking)
Big hearts, big hearts, big hearts are for breaking yeah
You see I’ve got this critical conscience
A brand new black hole in the solar system
I dig my grave, but can't stand to step inside
When they find out (when they find out)
They'll sound every siren, break the door down
To find a baby crying
You thought I knew that it's just not right to tell a lie
Yeah
Big hearts, big hearts, big hearts are for breaking (big hearts are breaking) oooh
Big hearts, big hearts, big hearts are for breaking yeah
Now there’s no turning back
Yeah my face of the sweat we share
There’s no where to run, we're so unprepared
It’s a new heart attack
Brand new breaks on my back to there
It’s sung, say a word, we might find us there
You see I’ve got this American love
A hidden planet in the solar system
Keep your eyes shut, I can't stand to say goodbye
Big hearts, big hearts, big hearts are for breaking (big hearts are breaking) oooh
Big hearts, big hearts, big hearts are for breaking yeah (big hearts are for breaking)
---------------------------------
Note: I could not find lyrics to this song, so I spent a good 20 minutes trying to figure the lyrics out. If it doesn't make sense, apologies in advance for Andrew being unable to articulate. If you happen to have found the lyrics, do not tell me because I will be sad.
----------------------------------
The past 2 days have been amazing as I was able to share it with the best 3 people in my life. With time and a little alcohol, I can say I have become closer to each and every one of them. It's crazy to even say that being friends for so long, we are able to still learn something new about each other. It just makes it a little harder to say goodbye for now.
PS. The scarf has been christened (and is making its way to bring us closer).
PPS. I'm wearing the scarf as I write.
PPPS. Something has been added to the scarf already!
----------------------------------
It's just surprising how things work out. It's impossible to avoid the inevitable. But when your intuition kicks in and red flags pop, what do you do? Do you, A, continue and pretend it doesn't exist, and that you're crazy for thinking it? Or B, be a realist and question 'why'? What would you really do? In these types of situations, it's hard to even admit that there is a possibility that things might not work out. But your heart tells you to believe and that it's not over until it's over. But your head tells you to get out now, it's going to hurt. Do you follow your heart, or your head? Once the inevitable happens, you feel like a fool for believing, a fool to think that things can work out. Note to self: Listen to your fucking head because it hurts.
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