You don't have to move, you don't have to speak
lips for biting.
You're staring me down, a glance makes me weak
eyes for striking
Now I'm twisting up when I'm twisted with you
brush so lightly
and time trickles down, and I'm breathing for two
squeeze so tightly.
I'll be fine, you'll be fine.
this moment seems so long
Don't waste now, precious time
we'll dance inside the song
What makes the one to shake you down?
Each touch belongs to each new sound
Say now you want to shake me too
Move down to me, slip into you
She sinks in my mind as she sheds through her skin
touch sight tastes like fire
hands do now what eyes no longer defend
hands to fuel desire
I'll be fine, you'll be fine
this moment seems so long
Don't waste now, precious time
we'll dance inside the song
What makes the one to shake you down?
Each touch belongs to each new sound
Say now you want to shake me too
Move down to me, slip into you
Ooo, ah
And I'll be fine, you'll be fine
Is this fine? I'm not fine
Give me pieces, give me things to stay awake (stay awake)
---------------------------
I've tossed and turned for a good 30 minutes and no luck. I'm thinking too much. About which textbooks to get rid of and which to keep, about how am I going to get through until December, about how am I going to be able work while doing school, about how am I going to manage ''extracurriculars'' during all this. Oh man, I hope my love of school won't die out before the flame had a chance to burn. And it's only day 2, soon to be day 3. Enough about that.
This new year has to be different. I need to prove it's all been worth it.
PS. I watched the Gossip Girl premiere and decided, yet again, that Chuck is mine. Oh. Sexy. Man.
Showing posts with label Sleepless Nights. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Sleepless Nights. Show all posts
Thursday, September 4, 2008
Tuesday, August 19, 2008
Dear Interceptor
Get out of the city if it hurts. You're too blind, move it over, try to get closer to the lifestyles of gluttons; seem so seamless and perfect. I've been the secret that you've been keeping.
Ears to the wall, eyes on the prize. See that you've made a mistake, and we all know what you've done here. Dear Interceptor, I've been waiting... Show me something. Hold the phone, we've found an answer. Full moons and minot keys to get there faster. Mirror, mirror, see this as clear as crystalline. Second-hand interpreter. The spoken word for change.
Wait for me, I wanted to feel this safe. I can't hear you scream. Hold the phone to make it better, I can't hear you.
Blood to the beat. This thirst of the Lion can't be quenched by cigarette strewn cubicle air. Dear diluted, while you're dreaming... Hold the phone, we've found an answer. Full moons and minot keys to get there faster. Mirror, mirror, see this as clear as crystalline. Second-hand interpreter, deep into the Red we need a change.
Just look at this cardboard cut-out, this puppet that you've become. Let me be the first to acknowledge you've no pride, you've no purpose. It's so typical to think less is more when you're out of the lead. Don't hurt yourself. Settle for less. It's so typical to think less is more when you're out of the lead. Second-hand interpreter, the spoken word for change.
Wait for me. I can't hear you. Hold the phone, we've found an answer.
-----------------------------------
It's well past 3am and here I am. Without sleep and with too many thoughts to count. Even Armor For Sleep couldn't get me through this one. I haven't had one of these nights in quite a while.
I found myself thinking about the future a lot. I know that it's unpredictable and "only time will tell". But it sucks. I know its immature, stupid and "oh so girly" of me, but damn it, why is it so hard to find the four letter word.. love? With well over 6 million people in the entire world, you'd think that love would occur on a weekly basis. But after a lot of hard thinking and talking to the dead, I've come to the conclusion that love only comes to those who are ready for it. It comes to those who are willing to jump, those who are ready to fall, those who don't care, and those who are ready to accept all consequences. All four things must occur in order to find love. I've jumped... maybe 1.5 metres, but definitely wasn't ready to fall from that. And from stupid moves like that, hearts get a little cracked, not broken. But cracked enough to make someone scared and not be able to free fall. From seeing people I love get so hurt, by getting hurt ever so slightly each time myself, its hard to want the very thing I've been trying to find. So, I say I want love. But, am I willing to crash and burn? Not quite yet. "Take the pain out of love, then love won't exist", right? You've got to be brave, to be open, and to not be so scared. I admit, I'm jealous. Not jealous that everyone has a "boo" but me. But, more so that I'm not as brave as I want to be. I'm jealous that I cannot give my heart and a hammer, and let someone decide whether to pound it into tiny misshapen pieces and sell it for pocket change. I want to believe I will be strong enough, but it's hard trying to be a rock 24/7. Right now, admittedly, whoever gets close to me, I push away. Am I pushing away the very thing that's trying to find me? The future is unpredictable and only time will tell.
As a child, my parents always said that I wasn't allowed to date until I graduated from university (typical of the Asian parents, ask anyone). I always thought it was a joke. But now, here at the age of 20, entering my third year of university, aren't they happy? You bet. Intentional on my behalf? Not really, I blame the subconscious. I guess after little experiences, you start to see the entire picture. Or in my case, a little bit of overthinking and temperature variability does the trick too. Were they trying to protect my little heart? Probably. I think the message behind it all, was that they wanted me to become this strong, independent person before I decide to let someone into my life. A person who knows who she is, and isn't afraid of not fitting in. A person who knows what she wants, and won't let anyone else change her. I needed to be this person. Am I there yet? Not nearly. Good luck, Anita.
It's now almost 5am and round 392439248 of AFS. This will probably be the biggest blog you'll see. Sleep Attempt: #2
Ears to the wall, eyes on the prize. See that you've made a mistake, and we all know what you've done here. Dear Interceptor, I've been waiting... Show me something. Hold the phone, we've found an answer. Full moons and minot keys to get there faster. Mirror, mirror, see this as clear as crystalline. Second-hand interpreter. The spoken word for change.
Wait for me, I wanted to feel this safe. I can't hear you scream. Hold the phone to make it better, I can't hear you.
Blood to the beat. This thirst of the Lion can't be quenched by cigarette strewn cubicle air. Dear diluted, while you're dreaming... Hold the phone, we've found an answer. Full moons and minot keys to get there faster. Mirror, mirror, see this as clear as crystalline. Second-hand interpreter, deep into the Red we need a change.
Just look at this cardboard cut-out, this puppet that you've become. Let me be the first to acknowledge you've no pride, you've no purpose. It's so typical to think less is more when you're out of the lead. Don't hurt yourself. Settle for less. It's so typical to think less is more when you're out of the lead. Second-hand interpreter, the spoken word for change.
Wait for me. I can't hear you. Hold the phone, we've found an answer.
-----------------------------------
It's well past 3am and here I am. Without sleep and with too many thoughts to count. Even Armor For Sleep couldn't get me through this one. I haven't had one of these nights in quite a while.
I found myself thinking about the future a lot. I know that it's unpredictable and "only time will tell". But it sucks. I know its immature, stupid and "oh so girly" of me, but damn it, why is it so hard to find the four letter word.. love? With well over 6 million people in the entire world, you'd think that love would occur on a weekly basis. But after a lot of hard thinking and talking to the dead, I've come to the conclusion that love only comes to those who are ready for it. It comes to those who are willing to jump, those who are ready to fall, those who don't care, and those who are ready to accept all consequences. All four things must occur in order to find love. I've jumped... maybe 1.5 metres, but definitely wasn't ready to fall from that. And from stupid moves like that, hearts get a little cracked, not broken. But cracked enough to make someone scared and not be able to free fall. From seeing people I love get so hurt, by getting hurt ever so slightly each time myself, its hard to want the very thing I've been trying to find. So, I say I want love. But, am I willing to crash and burn? Not quite yet. "Take the pain out of love, then love won't exist", right? You've got to be brave, to be open, and to not be so scared. I admit, I'm jealous. Not jealous that everyone has a "boo" but me. But, more so that I'm not as brave as I want to be. I'm jealous that I cannot give my heart and a hammer, and let someone decide whether to pound it into tiny misshapen pieces and sell it for pocket change. I want to believe I will be strong enough, but it's hard trying to be a rock 24/7. Right now, admittedly, whoever gets close to me, I push away. Am I pushing away the very thing that's trying to find me? The future is unpredictable and only time will tell.
As a child, my parents always said that I wasn't allowed to date until I graduated from university (typical of the Asian parents, ask anyone). I always thought it was a joke. But now, here at the age of 20, entering my third year of university, aren't they happy? You bet. Intentional on my behalf? Not really, I blame the subconscious. I guess after little experiences, you start to see the entire picture. Or in my case, a little bit of overthinking and temperature variability does the trick too. Were they trying to protect my little heart? Probably. I think the message behind it all, was that they wanted me to become this strong, independent person before I decide to let someone into my life. A person who knows who she is, and isn't afraid of not fitting in. A person who knows what she wants, and won't let anyone else change her. I needed to be this person. Am I there yet? Not nearly. Good luck, Anita.
It's now almost 5am and round 392439248 of AFS. This will probably be the biggest blog you'll see. Sleep Attempt: #2
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