Better Be Prepared

I'm making my way
Through cities and towns
Just trying to lose myself in skylines and forget
That I lost my mind when I couldn't hold her
And now that I feel all the weight on my shoulders
I fall

So here's a couple words for you
To let you know what I've been through
I've got this off-track set mind where everything is fine
If I know I've got a ticket to the other side

And I'll breathe you in tonight
I'll find my own way home
You know I'll be fine

You've got me walking through the back door, back door
Hoping that I'll find you sitting there
You know that I will find you somehow
And I better be well prepared

To change the way that I believe
This story's old but not complete
I need that off-track set mind where everything is fine
If I'm ever gonna meet you on the other side

And I'll breathe you in tonight
I'll find my own way home
You know I'll be fine

You've got me walking through the back door, back door
Hoping that I'll find you sitting there
You know that I will find you somehow
And I better be well prepared

To walk through the back door, back door
With my head in my hands
'Cause I can find you somehow
I better be well prepared
I'm gonna be prepared

I need to get out of the city lights
And make my way to the country side
I'll drive down the road
The roads we both know
Will lead me to the place I miss the most
I'll get to your house
I'll burst through the door
I'll climb up the stairs
You know I'm scared that I have changed

You've got me walking through the back door, back door
Hoping that I'll find you sitting there
You know that I will find you somehow
And I better be well prepared

To walk through the back door, back door
With my head in my hands
'Cause I can find you somehow
I better be well prepared
I'm gonna be prepared

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After trying to sleep, I couldn't. This is what I get for watching One Tree Hill all night to the wee hours yesterday. Seriously, one day and my sleep is messed. Anyways, not much has gone on with my life. I guess I'm trying to live vicariously through television characters to compensate for my dull life. Well, I should really take more initiative to get out there, but I can put that off for now. I'm looking forward to the weekend. Friday at 9:45pm can't get here fast enough. I really hope things turn out this weekend. I plan on having a small get-together this weekend for my birthday. But family things always get in the way. I just want one, single day where there's nothing to worry about, no one telling me what to do. One day to have fun before I am more obligated to act like a mature adult, before I turn 21. I kinda wanna get really wasted. Not puking wasted, but responsible yet enough to drown my sorrows of my upcoming birthday.

One thing I don't get is how my parents want me to act all responsible, right now. Saying that I'm too old to have parties, to go out. But that is just the thing. I have my entire lifetime to act like a mature adult. I'm still young. Why do I need to get a head start? Is it only when I have a stable job, a mortgage, can I start to have fun and feel free? Doesn't make sense does it?

Things I want from this weekend:
- chilling with friends
- good laughs
- my sister to get a life for just 24 hours
- my mom to not interfere
- to forget about what would've happened.

I need to stop replaying one liners over and over in my mind. Why did you have to say that?

Holiday

So let me first start off by saying
How hard I've been working towards this goal
That was set in stone
Behind my eyelids from hours of countless dreaming

And second, let me tell you about this feeling I can't describe
'Cause as I try to get this all out
I know that I'm not better off at all
'Cause this town's never seemed so cold

Then, when I'm home for the week on a holiday
I look around, everything has changed
Life's not the same since you've gone away
Since you've gone away

I've come to this conclusion,
That I was foolish when I thought
That if I just put my trust in coming home,
That I'd be better off

All that just got me thinking about that feeling I can't describe
And as I try to get this all out
I realize I'm not better off at all

When I'm home for the week on a holiday
I look around, everything has changed
Life's not the same since you've gone away
Since you've gone away

I've been home for the week on a holiday
I look around, everything has changed
Life's not the same since you've gone away
Since you've gone away

We all need a reason to believe
We all need a reason
We all need a reason to believe
We all need a reason
(When I'm home for the week on a holiday
Look around, everything has changed
Life's not the same since you've gone away
'Cause you've gone away)

Home for the week on a holiday
Look around, everything has changed
Life's not the same since you've gone away
Since you've gone away
(We all need a reason to believe
We all need a reason
We all need a reason to believe
We all need a reason)

At the end of the day
We always need a reason to believe
She said, "Love can take you anywhere you want"

--------------------------------

My life is boring right now. On another note, this is incredible.

Safe To Say

We watched the sunset and we told ourselves to never forget,
Just how good it felt to be surrounded
By a town that we knew like the back of our hands.
We felt alive, hoped for the very first time

Is it safe to say in the morning you'll come back
And things will be the same?
'Cause since the day you left, you know I've
Had a hard time and I want you to know
If you hear these words, won't you please just come back?

It's been a year now
But I still appreciate the sundown.
It reminds me somehow things will work out
And I'll fall to your arms, just like I'd always do
It felt so good, it was the very first time I felt alive.
Yeah, so alive.

Is it safe to say in the morning you'll come back
And things will be the same
'Cause since the day you left, you know I've
Had a hard time and I want you to know
If you hear these words, won't you please just come back?

If I could sing this out loud, I'd scream it to the clouds.
And everyone in this town would know what I'm about.
Rather die than feel this pain take me over again.
It's so hard to let you go.

Is it safe to say?

Is it safe to say in the morning you'll come back
And things will be the same?
'Cause since the day you left, you know I've
Had a hard time and I want you to know
If you hear these words, won't you please just come back?

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I blame others when every decision was made by me. Time is ticking and it's wasting away doing nothing, keeping me here at the same spot time and time again. I'm here because of what I chose to do, thinking it will work itself out. I need to own up and make better decisions that will get me where I need to be. I can't blame fate because it's my fault. Focus on the end and don't stop until I get there. Think forward, regret less.

Fuck you.

Carry On

I heard your footsteps this morning.
You know it’s hard to get by when you don’t sleep at all.

I’m just trying to be honest when I say my body’s feeling tired,
and I’ve got to move on,
but I hope and I pray that your legs will somehow find the strength.

And they all carry on. They want nothing but to be better off,
and I’ve hurt and I've aged,
but I found it in my heart to believe. You are home.

Some nights I have this blurred vision,
where we dance in a dream to the songs that we love.
Those songs have play for the lonely souls who where singing along
when it wasn’t enough just to hope,
and to pray that their body’s somehow find the strength.

And they all carry on. They want nothing but to be better off,
and I’ve hurt and I've aged,
but I found it in my heart to believe.

I’ve been waiting for good news since you left.
A little piece of my heart's been pounding out of my chest.
We’re waiting for good news, aren’t we now?

And they all carry on. They want nothing but to be better off,
and I’ve hurt and I've aged,
but I found it in my heart to believe. You are home.

I’ve been waiting for good news since you left.
A little piece of my heart's been pounding out of my chest. (You are home.)
We’re waiting for good news, aren’t we now?

------------------------------

I am a robot.
I have assessments to prove it.

Where Did You Go?

And it feels like this is the last chance I have to say
Every word that I've been fighting.
Well I have finally decided, to hold my head up with pride
And accept the way life takes you through these changes.
Cause when you reach the stars, you've made it.

It's just something that I've been dying to let you know
And now that you're gone I'm holding on, and I just can't let go

I get a little down on my self.
But when you came around
The world felt new
I opened up my eyes to the light
And I saw deep inside of a love that was true

And if I ever let you go,
I'm hoping that some time will show
That you're the one, you're the one for me

And it feels like this the perfect time for me to say
That deep down inside I'm hurting, but at least I know you're worth it.
And if I hold myself with pride and accept the pain
Then life will take me through these changes cause I have so much left to see.

It's just something that I've been dying to let you know.
'Cause now that you're gone I'm holding on and I just can't let go.

I get a little down on my self.
But when you came around
The world felt new
I opened up my eyes to the light
And i saw deep inside of a love that was true.
And if I ever let you go, I'm hoping that some time will show
That you're the one, you're the one for me

So let's go back down to the back of that river where we we can dive right in
And forget about the worries from the world outside,
'Cause you know my world, my world's not over
Because I have an angel on my shoulder.

And I'll be coming home, and when I feel those butterflies
I'll see that I need to find a better way just to believe you're gone.
So long, some day I'll find the strength to move on.

I get a little down on my self.
But when you came around
The world felt new
I opened up my eyes to the light,
And I saw deep inside of a love that was true.

And if I ever let you go,
I'm hoping that some time will show.
'Cause you're the one, you're the one for me.

-----------------------------

I am so fucking excited to sleep today.

The Space Between

There's something strange going on in my head
That says if I were to get in a car right now
North Carolina is where I would end
And to your doorstep I would be bound.
To whisper the words that I've always wanted to say,
And watch as the sun rips this blue sky away
Cause the colors are always changing
So stare up at the clouds
And at least you know
You're always looking up

So Casey can you remember
Sitting by my side
On the bank of the Delaware River
And talking about life

Don't forget about the blue skies, sunrise, and all the space between
It's amazing how a girl like you could affect a guy like me
All the pictures, memories and all the times we had
Do you think that some things are better left unsaid?

We'd stay inside just to watch the time go by
And sleep the whole day till the night
With everything you said
I'm sure you've got some place that you'd probably rather be
I hope you're singing this song
And thinking about me
Carolina was waiting for you
It's what you always wanted

Don't forget about the blue skies, sunrise, and all the space between
It's amazing how a girl like you could affect a guy like me
With the pictures, memories and all the times we had
Do you think that some things are better left unsaid?

And we run away
Cause the sky looks different when you're in another state
It's everything I've always wanted
And everything I've worked so hard for

Is it in me
To put the bottle down?
Well Is it in me?
To put the bottle down?
Well is it in me? (blue skies sunrise and all the space between)
To put the bottle down? (it's amazing how a girl like you could affect a guy like me)
Well is it in me? (with the pictures, memories, and all the times we had)
To put the bottle down? (do you think that some things, are better left unsaid?)

Is it in me
Is it in me
---------------------------

All is well.