Cold Water

Cold, cold water surrounds me now
And all I've got is your hand
Lord, can you hear me now?
Lord, can you hear me now?
Lord, can you hear me now?
Or am I lost?

Love one's daughter
Allow me that
And I can't let go of your hand
Lord, can you hear me now?
Lord, can you hear me now?
Lord, can you hear me now?
Or am I lost?
Cold, cold water surrounds me now
And all I've got is your hand
Lord, can you hear me now?
Lord, can you hear me now?
Lord, can you hear me now?
Or am I lost?

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I find myself typing in text and always deleting. I hide behind my own thoughts while hiding behind a screen. I hate the fact that I always have to think twice about what I say. I hate that I have to proofread whatever I write before pressing 'send' or 'publish'. I wanna put this edit button on hold just for a couple days, but I can't.

The very thing that I yearn for is the root of pain. The slightest drop, I can already feel a pin prick. Am I subconsciously putting on my own defense mechanism in place by walking away? By believing it's not in my cards? By being so conceited? Maybe I'm just waiting. Maybe I'm testing who can break down my walls and actually find me. No one has so far. It's not written in the stars as much as I liked to believe.

What am I to you? The person who wakes you up in the morning when you can't do it yourself? The one who you can talk to and suddenly feel relieved? The person who you always say 'hi' to when you get a chance? The person who only wants the best for you? The person who talks behind your back? The one who breaks promises? The person who tells lies, but you give me the benefit of the doubt? The one who takes everything you do for granted? The one who never apologizes? The person who you would rather not exist?

I've gotten everything I deserved in my life.