On Fire

They tell you where you need to go
They tell you when you'll need to leave
They tell you what you need to know
They tell you who you need to be

But everything inside you knows
There's more than what you've heard
There's so much more than empty conversations
Filled with empty words

And you're on fire
When he's near you
You're on fire
When He speaks
You're on fire
Burning at these mysteries

Give me one more time around
Give me one more chance to see
Give me everything You are
Give me one more chance to be... (near You)

Cause everything inside me looks like
Everything I hate
You are the hope I have for change
You are the only chance I'll take

When I'm on fire
When you're near me
I'm on fire
When you speak
And I'm on fire
Burning at these mysteries
These mysteries...

I'm standing on the edge of me
I'm standing on the edge of everything I've never been before.
And I've been standing on the edge of me
Standing on the edge

And I'm on fire
When you're near me
I'm on fire
When you speak
(Yea) I'm on fire
Burning at these mysteries... these mysteries... these mysteries
Ah you're the mystery
You're the mystery

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I said I wouldn't be sorry for my imperfections, but I am. I hate my fucking external locus of control. I have to be better.

Only Hope

There's a song that's inside of my soul
It's the one that I've tried to write over and over again
I'm awake in the infinite cold
But You sing to me over and over again

So I lay my head back down
And I lift my hands
and pray to be only Yours
I pray to be only Yours
I know now you're my only hope

Sing to me the song of the stars
Of Your galaxy dancing and laughing
and laughing again
When it feels like my dreams are so far
Sing to me of the plans that You have for me over again

And I lay my head back down
And I lift my hands and pray
To be only yours
I pray to be only yours
I know now you're my only hope

I give You my apathy
I'm giving You all of me
I want Your symphony
Singing in all that I am
At the top of my lungs I'm giving it back

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Today, I went to see The Ugly Truth with my friend from class. It was actually better the second time because the audience was better, laughing a lot more at the dirty humour. Haha. After the movie, we had drinks at Jack Astor's (where else? haha). Fun. When it was time to leave, I definitely realized that this guy was only going to be a friend and nothing more. Never, say never. But, I feel strongly about this at this moment. He's like the only guy that I can talk about chick-flicks with, which makes me happy.

Anyways, this Friday is the infamous beach day (turned infamous at about the time of the second delay). Here is where I hope that the fizzling boy interest will make an appearance. If not, fuck him... only kidding. Anyways, I hope that we would be able to get along like there wasn't a giant 5 week hiatus. SHIT. It's been a while. To put this into perspective, old hook up but not boy from New Year's will be there. That won't be weird because I've been in group situations with him before and we're fine. Then, old hook-up but not/3-day boy interest from 4 weeks ago may be there too. I haven't seen him since then and had a total of 5 minutes of conversation since then. Ahh. This whole beach thing could be slightly awkward. I need to get into different circles. Haha. Kidding. Ok, all I can do is just enjoy chilling with friends from school and look hot doing it. Haha. Majorly kidding on that one.

Then, hopefully after work on Saturday, I'll be able to go to my friend's house party, if I can get 3/4 of my pscyh paper done by then (which is due Monday and have yet started).

This week is going to be busy.