How I wish I could surrender my soul;
Shed the clothes that become my skin;
See the liar that burns within my needing.
How I wish I'd chosen darkness from cold.
How I wish I had screamed out loud,
Instead I've found no meaning.
I guess it's time I run far, far away; find comfort in pain,
All pleasure's the same: it just keeps me from trouble.
Hides my true shape, like Dorian Gray.
I've heard what they say, but I'm not here for trouble.
It's more than just words: it's just tears and rain.
How I wish I could walk through the doors of my mind;
Hold memory close at hand,
Help me understand the years.
How I wish I could choose between Heaven and Hell.
How I wish I would save my soul.
I'm so cold from fear.
I guess it's time I run far, far away; find comfort in pain,
All pleasure's the same: it just keeps me from trouble.
Hides my true shape, like Dorian Gray.
I've heard what they say, but I'm not here for trouble.
Far, far away; find comfort in pain.
All pleasure's the same: it just keeps me from trouble.
It's more than just words: it's just tears and rain.
Tears and Rain.
Tears and Rain.
Far, far away; find comfort in pain,
All pleasure's the same: it just keeps me from trouble.
It's more than just words: it's just tears and rain.
----------------------
I just wish that I could tell you everything. I want to. But some part of me knows that you will not look at me the same. I don't think anyone could convince me otherwise. Because of my fear, you will never know. One day, maybe.
I've been thinking a lot over the past few days, and I've come up with the conclusion that I seriously don't think I could ever let myself get emotionally close to another person. Just for a fear of getting hurt. Leave before they can leave you. It's the most juvenile thing in the world, but I can't exactly help it. Then, I can't exactly complain about my current situation. Maybe, I just like the feeling of having some sort of control.
Friday, July 17, 2009
Wednesday, July 15, 2009
When I Grow Up
Boys call you sexy (What's up, sexy)
And you don't care what they say
See, every time you turn around
They scream your name
Now I've got a confession
When I was young I wanted attention
And I promised myself that I’d do anything
Anything at all for them to notice me
But I ain't complaining
We all wanna be famous
So go ahead and say what you wanna say
You know what it's like to be nameless
Want them to know what your name is
'Cause see when I was younger I would say
When I grow up
I wanna be famous
I wanna be a star
I wanna be in movies
When I grow up
I wanna see the world
Drive nice cars
I wanna have groupies
When I grow up
Be on TV
People know me
Be on magazines
When I grow up
Fresh and clean
Number one chick when I step out on the scene
Be careful what you wish for 'cause you just might get it
You just might get it
You just might get it
Be careful what you wish for 'cause you just might get it
You just might get it
You just might get it
They used to tell me I was silly
Until I popped up on the TV
I always wanted to be a superstar
And knew that singing songs would get me this far
But I ain't complaining
We all wanna be famous
So go ahead and say what you wanna say
You know what it's like to be nameless
Want them to know what your name is
'Cause see when I was younger I would say
When I grow up
I wanna be famous
I wanna be a star
I wanna be in movies
When I grow up
I wanna see the world
Drive nice cars
I wanna have groupies
When I grow up
Be on TV
People know me
Be on magazines
When I grow up
Fresh and clean
Number one chick when I step out on the scene
Be careful what you wish for 'cause you just might get it
You just might get it
You just might get it
Be careful what you wish for 'cause you just might get it
You just might get it
You just might get it
I see them staring at me
Oh I'm a trendsetter
Yes this is true 'cause what I do, no one can do it better
You can talk about me
'Cause I'm a hot topic
I see you watching me, watching me, and I know you want it
When I grow up
I wanna be famous
I wanna be a star
I wanna be in movies
When I grow up
I wanna see the world
Drive nice cars
I wanna have groupies
When I grow up
Be on TV
People know me
Be on magazines
When I grow up
Fresh and clean
Number one chick when I step out on the scene
Be careful what you wish for 'cause you just might get it
You just might get it
You just might get it
Be careful what you wish for 'cause you just might get it
You just might get it
You just might get it
------------------------
Try and try again. Oh my. Can't help but laugh.
Lately, I'm slowly realizing that I put way too much pressure on myself to look a certain way. Well, girls in general do. I know that if I did squats everyday, I'd have a smackable ass, or if I did 1000 crunches a day, I wouldn't have love handles. But would it make a difference in the end? Not really. Half the reason is to look awesome for me is to feel good, and the other half is to be seen as "good" by others, especially in the opposite sex. But, if I feel good already, would it matter? It shouldn't matter what other people think. I think I've said this before, and I probably tend to go back and forth on this subject, but for right now, I feel that you should feel good about the body you are in, be proud to be in your skin. No one else has the right to tell you otherwise. After conversations and past encounters, nobody really cares about the way you look. In other words, no one sees those stretch marks on your hips, or the fact that your thighs touch. You are the only one who puts yourself under a microscope and overanalyzes every single detail.
Don't be sorry for all your imperfections.
And you don't care what they say
See, every time you turn around
They scream your name
Now I've got a confession
When I was young I wanted attention
And I promised myself that I’d do anything
Anything at all for them to notice me
But I ain't complaining
We all wanna be famous
So go ahead and say what you wanna say
You know what it's like to be nameless
Want them to know what your name is
'Cause see when I was younger I would say
When I grow up
I wanna be famous
I wanna be a star
I wanna be in movies
When I grow up
I wanna see the world
Drive nice cars
I wanna have groupies
When I grow up
Be on TV
People know me
Be on magazines
When I grow up
Fresh and clean
Number one chick when I step out on the scene
Be careful what you wish for 'cause you just might get it
You just might get it
You just might get it
Be careful what you wish for 'cause you just might get it
You just might get it
You just might get it
They used to tell me I was silly
Until I popped up on the TV
I always wanted to be a superstar
And knew that singing songs would get me this far
But I ain't complaining
We all wanna be famous
So go ahead and say what you wanna say
You know what it's like to be nameless
Want them to know what your name is
'Cause see when I was younger I would say
When I grow up
I wanna be famous
I wanna be a star
I wanna be in movies
When I grow up
I wanna see the world
Drive nice cars
I wanna have groupies
When I grow up
Be on TV
People know me
Be on magazines
When I grow up
Fresh and clean
Number one chick when I step out on the scene
Be careful what you wish for 'cause you just might get it
You just might get it
You just might get it
Be careful what you wish for 'cause you just might get it
You just might get it
You just might get it
I see them staring at me
Oh I'm a trendsetter
Yes this is true 'cause what I do, no one can do it better
You can talk about me
'Cause I'm a hot topic
I see you watching me, watching me, and I know you want it
When I grow up
I wanna be famous
I wanna be a star
I wanna be in movies
When I grow up
I wanna see the world
Drive nice cars
I wanna have groupies
When I grow up
Be on TV
People know me
Be on magazines
When I grow up
Fresh and clean
Number one chick when I step out on the scene
Be careful what you wish for 'cause you just might get it
You just might get it
You just might get it
Be careful what you wish for 'cause you just might get it
You just might get it
You just might get it
------------------------
Try and try again. Oh my. Can't help but laugh.
Lately, I'm slowly realizing that I put way too much pressure on myself to look a certain way. Well, girls in general do. I know that if I did squats everyday, I'd have a smackable ass, or if I did 1000 crunches a day, I wouldn't have love handles. But would it make a difference in the end? Not really. Half the reason is to look awesome for me is to feel good, and the other half is to be seen as "good" by others, especially in the opposite sex. But, if I feel good already, would it matter? It shouldn't matter what other people think. I think I've said this before, and I probably tend to go back and forth on this subject, but for right now, I feel that you should feel good about the body you are in, be proud to be in your skin. No one else has the right to tell you otherwise. After conversations and past encounters, nobody really cares about the way you look. In other words, no one sees those stretch marks on your hips, or the fact that your thighs touch. You are the only one who puts yourself under a microscope and overanalyzes every single detail.
Don't be sorry for all your imperfections.
Tuesday, July 14, 2009
Misery
I cry myself to sleep again tonight
'Cause I cannot hold you tight
I wish I could see you again tomorrow
To take all this sorrow, sorrow
I'm hollow
When I touch you
Can you feel it
When I need you
Can you give it
When I look in your eyes
Can you see me
When I fall, fall
Will you catch me, catch me, catch me
Misery is what I feel
When you're not around
So I can't heal
Misery is what I feel
Is what I feel
Is what I feel
These tears on my face
Are for you
I wish that I could hold you
Touch you, feel you
My heart is bleeding Can't you see
I wish that you could hold me
Touch me, feel me
Misery is what I feel
When you're not around
So I can't heal
Misery is what I feel
Is what I feel
Is what I feel
Misery is what I feel
When you're not around
So I can't heal
Misery is what I feel
Is what I feel
Is what I feel
-------------------------------
I really don't know how I got to this place. Things that are new and exciting are meant to end. But things that start off wrong will end only badly. I think I might take the risk.
'Cause I cannot hold you tight
I wish I could see you again tomorrow
To take all this sorrow, sorrow
I'm hollow
When I touch you
Can you feel it
When I need you
Can you give it
When I look in your eyes
Can you see me
When I fall, fall
Will you catch me, catch me, catch me
Misery is what I feel
When you're not around
So I can't heal
Misery is what I feel
Is what I feel
Is what I feel
These tears on my face
Are for you
I wish that I could hold you
Touch you, feel you
My heart is bleeding Can't you see
I wish that you could hold me
Touch me, feel me
Misery is what I feel
When you're not around
So I can't heal
Misery is what I feel
Is what I feel
Is what I feel
Misery is what I feel
When you're not around
So I can't heal
Misery is what I feel
Is what I feel
Is what I feel
-------------------------------
I really don't know how I got to this place. Things that are new and exciting are meant to end. But things that start off wrong will end only badly. I think I might take the risk.
Saturday, July 11, 2009
The Best
On a perfect day
Somewhat like today
We will find each other there
We will find each other there
And somewhat like the month we first met
We can't forget the way I loved you
But I can't pretend how far we've gone
And we can not mend what damage has been done
No, we can not mend what damage is done now
But then we shall come home and
Become the best ones we could have been
Oh the best we could have been
Oh the best we could have been, now
--------------------------------
Saturday night ritual is chilling. Single girl with a chick flick. Alone. Doing nothing, but escaping into a world where happiness is 130 minutes away. Sure, going out and getting drunk is a fun thing to do and that I should introduce it into my schedule more often. But, the thing is sometimes, going out is tiring. And, something that I could easily get sick of, as if it were a chore. Easily imagined. Maybe I'm just rationalizing my non-existent life. Anyways, something I will never get sick of is watching a good movie in bed. I could watch and re-watch movies any day of the week. Vicarious living I say! Loser, maybe? Probably. I did spend all day yesterday watching all five Harry Potter movies.
I watched P.S. I Love You today, starring Hilary Swank and Gerard Butler, and a surprising appearance by the dude who plays Denny in Grey's Anatomy. What a sweet surprise! But unlike most chick-flicks, this movie was about dealing with the death of a loved one. Hilary Swank's character, Holly, loses her husband, Gerry, played by Gerard Butler, to brain cancer. Before he died, he creates an elaborate plan to help Holly move on. In the end, this is definitely true love.
Sure, you want to find that one person you are meant to be with. You imagined this person when you were 10 maybe? 16? Nonetheless, you feel your life is incomplete when there is no one to share it with. You spend most days, just waiting. Waiting for this stranger to walk into your life. One day, if you're lucky, this stranger does. You fall in love. Suddenly, the love of your life dies. What now? That's what I liked about P.S. I Love You. Sure, it's a sappy movie, but made not using the same recipe as the rest. When people think of finding the one, they don't often think about what happens after you lose them.
Would you love someone knowing the exact date they would die?
Somewhat like today
We will find each other there
We will find each other there
And somewhat like the month we first met
We can't forget the way I loved you
But I can't pretend how far we've gone
And we can not mend what damage has been done
No, we can not mend what damage is done now
But then we shall come home and
Become the best ones we could have been
Oh the best we could have been
Oh the best we could have been, now
--------------------------------
Saturday night ritual is chilling. Single girl with a chick flick. Alone. Doing nothing, but escaping into a world where happiness is 130 minutes away. Sure, going out and getting drunk is a fun thing to do and that I should introduce it into my schedule more often. But, the thing is sometimes, going out is tiring. And, something that I could easily get sick of, as if it were a chore. Easily imagined. Maybe I'm just rationalizing my non-existent life. Anyways, something I will never get sick of is watching a good movie in bed. I could watch and re-watch movies any day of the week. Vicarious living I say! Loser, maybe? Probably. I did spend all day yesterday watching all five Harry Potter movies.
I watched P.S. I Love You today, starring Hilary Swank and Gerard Butler, and a surprising appearance by the dude who plays Denny in Grey's Anatomy. What a sweet surprise! But unlike most chick-flicks, this movie was about dealing with the death of a loved one. Hilary Swank's character, Holly, loses her husband, Gerry, played by Gerard Butler, to brain cancer. Before he died, he creates an elaborate plan to help Holly move on. In the end, this is definitely true love.
Sure, you want to find that one person you are meant to be with. You imagined this person when you were 10 maybe? 16? Nonetheless, you feel your life is incomplete when there is no one to share it with. You spend most days, just waiting. Waiting for this stranger to walk into your life. One day, if you're lucky, this stranger does. You fall in love. Suddenly, the love of your life dies. What now? That's what I liked about P.S. I Love You. Sure, it's a sappy movie, but made not using the same recipe as the rest. When people think of finding the one, they don't often think about what happens after you lose them.
Would you love someone knowing the exact date they would die?
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